Wispid

I have said a lot of dumb things in Japanese, but this one probably ranks near the top and I said it early on.

The Japanese word for father is chichi. The Japanese word for boob is also chichi. One rises ever so slightly on the second syllable and other falls just a little bit.

A Japanese girl I was dating took me to  meet her parents. Her father, a fellow about half my size, wanted to give me a sweater as a memento. There was no way it was going to fit.

Trying to be kind and also impress them with my, um, knowledge of Japanese.

"Sumimasen, anata no chichi wa chigasigimasu." (Sorry, your boobs are too small.)

What I wanted to say was – "Sorry, your father is too small."

Gasps, funny looks and then finally nervous laughter followed. …but maybe you get the picture.

Thinking about Father’s Day somehow brought this memory back to me. I don’t know why.

What’s your most silly father’s day memory?

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chichi is actually the teat, oppai is boob….

Today is the last day.  I have not eaten anything solid for 10 days…except ice at the restaurant last week. At around noon today I will finish this master cleanse and start breaking the fast.

It’s at this point that I should have some great insights that I should share.

They are not great…but here are some of the things that I learned.

1. Don’t expect too much. In other words, do not expect to gain great insights into life, be throughly cleansed and lose 25 lbs. It doesn’t happen. I feel no differently, think no differently now than I did 10 days ago. I don’t have a greater appreciation for food, eating right/wrong, or for the poor and starving. I just want to get back to eating…perhaps a wee bit more healthily.

2. The numbers don’t add up. It’s a lie if someone tells you they don’t want to lose weight doing this. I wanted to. But, it didn’t happen. And that’s a puzzle. It’s not like I did NOT have weight to lose. I started out at 214 and I ended up at 206. Eight pounds in 10 days of consuming a 1000 calories/day while maintaining my regular life style, including exercising…I should have shed more…maybe.  Unless….I calculate 2500 calories/day short x 10 days = 25,000/3500 (cal/lb) = 7lbs lost.  Maybe the numbers add up after all.

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Day 8 is supposed to be the day of enlightenment. Enlightenment, ensmightenment.

It has something to do with day 7 being the hardest and the best of feelings always follow the worst. Uh…I am still waiting for the calm and serenity and breakfast.

I shouldn’t be this hungry to be sure….and I think it is my fault. I don’t drink enough of the lemonade and what I do drink doesn’t have enough maple syrup in it. So, I am not getting enough calories.

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If misery loves company then I wonder where my company is.

Yesterday was pretty miserable.

I’d like to know where I read or heard that it would get easier after three days…because it’s not true. I was hungrier yesterday than I have ever been…makes sense in that I haven’t eaten in 4 days. I guess I should be getting hungrier, no?

What I am also getting however, is lonelier.

I work at home…I have mentioned that in previous posts.

A couple of times a week  I get together with friends. On Tuesdays I get together with two buddies for breakfast and nothing else but to sit around and talk about our weeks, our work and to encourage one another. I skipped it this week because ham and cheese omelets, hashbrowns and toast or the Kal Special, hotcakes, eggs and choice of sausage or bacon does NOT fit in the Master’s, er, Master Cleanser’s plan. Maybe they don’t fit in the Master’s plan, either. But, that’s another subject.

Yesterday, my wife’s high school friend came to visit the Bay Area (We live in the South Bay near San Jose, and yes, I know the way). Her friend lives in Montana and seeings as my wife and her friend are both ‘made in China’ they wanted to go to a good Chinese restaurant. Yup…we have a lot of good Chinese restaurants in the area. You can tell which ones are good, too…it’s where all the Chinese go to eat.

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It’s kind of like Santa Claus and checking out the Naughty and Nice. Only for me, yesterday I saw the Nasty and Neat.

I say nasty because the subject matter is indeed of that nature. So, if you don’t want to venture into the realm of TMI (too much information) stop reading.

Senna Leaf (Smooth Move) + salt Water Wash = a scrub brush to the pipes.

I took the smooth move the first night too early. It woke me up at around 3am and I found myself hoping I was sitting on the pot and not just dreaming. (I was).

The following morning, I drank a quart of warm water with the two teaspoons of sea salt in it and waited an hour. Nothing happened.

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