Wispid

I can’t figure this out.

Are there really really people who get excited, turned on, by pictures of girls’ panties?

Come on, now!

A high school teacher in Japan, 57, was arrested for photographing up a woman’s mini skirt.

His charge – creating a nuisance.

Yeah, don’t you hate it when old guys roll around on the ground and take pictures up women’s skirts?

“Her miniskirt turned me on,” the old geezer said.

And getting old farts excited to the point that they have to have a picture is NOT creating a public nuisance?!

The man used a camera on his cell phone to photograph up the skirt of a 20-year-old college student as he walked past her.

Sex + stupid = sexpid in action.

BTW…what goes Crick, crick, crick, crick, crick….?

All the cameras at a Japanese press conference.

People feel safe in hospitals.

Whatever was wrong will be made right….wrong.

Things can go wrong, terribly wrong in a hospital.

Consider

the Woman Jailed for Stealing a Baby from a hospital or

the doctors who got twin brothers mixed up!

In Japan, a woman eventually miscarried because nine, count ‘em, hospitals refused to see her when an ambulance brought her to their emergency rooms.

In the end, the ambulance collided with another car and another ambulance had to deliver her…but…not the baby.

That same Japan…three people, one a fashion model suffered burns when a surgeon erroneously applied high-density disinfectant to their faces and necks prior to a operations.

Uh…what was the disinfectant doing in the area in the first place?

And…why three at a time?…one a 20-year old student, a 34-year old woman and a 5-year old boy.

Still feeling safe when someone tells you are going to the hospital?

Barry Bonds’ home run balls aren’t getting any attention.

However, some chewed-up Michael Vick football cards have sold for $7,400 in an eBay auction with proceeds going to the Humane Society.

The seller gave the cards to her Great Dane puppy to chew on and then thought (how this idea came into her head I will never know) maybe somebody will buy these chewed up cards.

Sure enough…$7,400 later somebody did indeed buy them.

My dad used to say that people will buy anything. If you put a bucket of crap (not his word) on the front porch, sooner or later somebody would buy it, either because they want the crap or they want the bucket.

He was right.

So, who is more foolish in a case like this, the seller or the buyer?

Probably the hitter, IF it were Barry Bonds.

Now, if the Great Dane who chewed up the cards was on steroids when he did it, the price would go way down, I’m sure.

My older sister, a teenager at the time, once bowled a 6.

Yup. She threw the ball 20 times and only knocked down six pins.

Then there are the people who throw the ball backwards, hit the ceiling or bounce a ball into the next or next to next lane over.

Somebody, some dude, some knothead…threw a bowling ball off a highway overpass and hit the windshield of a semitrailer truck.

Minnesota State Patrol is hoping somebody will brag about this idiocy at the watercooler or in the sauna and that the listener will turn him or her in.

If you know or hear about it…call 1-508-389-1171 – the State Patrol Mankate district office.

Wisdumb – the best lessons in life may be learning what not to do.

A 41-year old fireman and a 36-year old office workerbee in Japan were arrested for hiring a girl that both knew was under 18 for sex.

The law they violated was the Law for Punishing Acts Related to Child Prostitution.

One guy paid the 16-year old 15,000 yen ($120ish) to have sex at a hotel.

The other guy paid the same girl 30,000 yen for a rendezvous at a different hotel on a different day.

The older fellow got the better deal with the girl but both will find themselves in court.

They met the child through a cell-phone voice-mail dating service.

Sex makes people do the most stupid things.

Do you know who your kids are talking to on their cell-phones?

A woman in China was rejected by her boyfriend’s family because she couldn’t reproduce.

No biggie. She pretended to be pregnant.

When the due date came, she got herself admitted to the hospital. A couple of days later she told her boyfriend to pick her up.

She had a baby…one she stole from the obstetric’s department of the hospital.

Happiness ensued for a couple of days…when guilt got the best of her and she returned the baby to his family.

Okay…so, where was the hospital when all this was going on?

And, the boyfriend could be fooled for nine months into thinking he fathered a child…with a woman who had a tumor in her womb?

Also, what about the woman in the hospital who suddenly found her baby missing? What did she think the baby walked out? Got mistaken for someone else’s twin?

Meanwhile, the baby must surely be wondering, “Can I start my life over, please?”

The French aren’t fools.

They don’t care if the Virgin Mary herself appeared and gave miraculous healing powers to water from a sacred grotto.

Water is water dang it and it can bring down an airplane….even if it is carried in eight small vials shaped like the Madonna (Not THAT Madonna) herself.

The Vatican having miraculous powers of foresight had placed small complimentary bottles of holy water on the seat of each pilgrim.

Meanwhile…airport checkers returned the confiscated bottles back to the Vatican to be sold again?

Question: How do you make your own holy water?

Answer: Put on a pot of water and boil the hell out of it.

There are reasons why girls don’t want to be boys and boys don’t want to be girls.

Here’s one for the girls.

A 9-year old boy climbed a partition in the bathroom when his brother called him from the next room.

But…he slipped, (on something caused by not hitting the toilet, maybe?) and fell on an uncovered pipe and got his testicles stuck in the narrow tube.

Am I the only one feeling squeamish and looking down as I write/read this.

A hydraulic cutter was used to cut open both ends of the pipe before the child, shrieking in agony, could be taken to the hospital to have his nuts freed.

How often does one use hydraulic cutter, agony and nuts in the same sentence?

So, girls….need any more reason to not want to be a boy?

I have heard guys say that making love to their wives was like making love to a dead body.

But they were kidding and NOT speaking from experience, I think.

A funeral home director happened upon a man lying next to a dead body of a woman.

The woman’s leg was up in the air, her stockings had been removed and the plastic covering on her body had been torn open.

This is way too creepy for me.

The director was only gone for about 10 minutes and figures the guy didn’t have time to ….do whatever wackos might do to a dead body.

The arrested knucklehead has a history according to police.

And the reason he is out is??  Can somebody help me here?

Sexpid – Sex can make people do the most stupid things.

A doctor friend of mine told me that more than half of the deaths that happen in hospitals happen because of misdiagnosis. Doctors treat the patient for the wrong disease and …well…”Sorry, m’am, we did all we could.”

What do doctors learn in school we are left to wonder.

Doctors and nurses can screw things up in China, too.

A pair of twins were born 21 years ago in a Beijing hospital.

The hospital, however, mixed up a third child with one of the twins and they got switched.

Two boys grew up thinking they were twins until, by chance, the two twin brothers who lived in the same semi-rural district ran into each other.

Think about that - the chances of two Chinese kids running into each other and thinking – “Hey! You look like me!”

Neighbors complained when one boy would not respond when they called him by his real twin brother’s name. That happens when people call you someone you are not.

When friends and neighbors and a good look at one another finally convinced the three to take a look inside…blood tests…the truth was found.

The two who grew up together were definitely NOT twins. The two who found each other… 99.999% certain to be blood relations.

The family wants the hospital to pay up.

Meanwhile, the third boy is wondering…”Who’s my daddy?”

Lesson learned – when you are born, hang on tight to momma, because the ride will begin soon.

Chinese lawmakers have had to propose legislation to get their scientists to try.

In an effort to promote innovation and clamp down on fraud, China’s law makers are trying new laws to remove the stigma attached to failure.

If a scientist fails, they know longer will have to fear losing their funding.

“‘Scientists and technicians who have initiated research with a high risk of failure will still have their expenses covered if they can provide evidence that they have tried their best when they failed to achieve their goals,’ says the draft amendment to the Law on Science and Technology Progress.”

Until now, scientists have been pressured to report only successes resulting in research being stifled and theft and forgery of successes.

Thomas Edison was blamed once for the 50,000+ failed experiments he conducted.

He responded, “I did not fail 50,000 times. I learned 50,000 things that don’t work.”

Failure is essential to learn. Sometimes the best lessons in life are indeed learning what NOT to do.

A law?

What have you learned NOT to do?

Three students, ages 12 and 13, strangled to death an 8-year old boy and his 5-year old brother.

Reason – they were hoping the boarding school they were attending would suspend classes for the day.

Apparently the year before, the school had let the kids out for a day because another student had died.

The kids figured that if another kid died this year…they’d get another day off.

When the boys were confronted they appeared to be “proud of their act” as they “narrated the entire sequence of events quite vividly.”

The dirty deed was done in a bathroom and the dead bodies found the next day when their sister reported them missing.

Uh…where do kids get the inkling to kill?

How does that thought enter into their minds?

I am stumped here.

And, the parents likely thought that the boarding school was the best choice for their kids.

Do you know who your kids are going to school with?