Wispid

It sounds like something that would happen in Berkeley.

Everybody gets naked and hugs trees. The police come in to drag them out by their private parts and the law enforcers end up getting punished.

Except…the news is in China!

Three policemen were forced to go back on their actions and apologize for detaining and fining two young lovers 5,000 yuan ($800) for hugging in public.

Yeah…I know China is a no-touch society. But, there has to be some touching for there to be 1.3 billion people, no?

Just don’t do it in public…or maybe it is okay after all…to just hug that is.

As the two hugged…the police came and took them away, demanding 5,000 yuan.

When the couple went online to make known what happened, it was the policemen’s turn to be dragged in.

In the end, the police returned the money and were forced to apologize.

Yeah…the rules for Valentine’s Day are not the same everywhere.

A victory for a bit of free speech…thanks to the Internet, eh?

Two fellows were driving a car…one had no legs and the other couldn’t see.

Sounds like the beginning of a joke…but, it’s not.

One guy, 43, had no legs…he was steering the vehicle.

His friend, 55, couldn’t see because he was on the floor working the pedals.

There was a back seat driver in the car as well.

All three were drunk.

Police stopped the car and issued citations to the legless – his third and the guy working the pedals – his second.

The third man is alleged to have walked home.

Another reason why we never hear “Gee, I wish I had been drinking at the time.”

I can’t figure this out.

Are there really really people who get excited, turned on, by pictures of girls’ panties?

Come on, now!

A high school teacher in Japan, 57, was arrested for photographing up a woman’s mini skirt.

His charge – creating a nuisance.

Yeah, don’t you hate it when old guys roll around on the ground and take pictures up women’s skirts?

“Her miniskirt turned me on,” the old geezer said.

And getting old farts excited to the point that they have to have a picture is NOT creating a public nuisance?!

The man used a camera on his cell phone to photograph up the skirt of a 20-year-old college student as he walked past her.

Sex + stupid = sexpid in action.

BTW…what goes Crick, crick, crick, crick, crick….?

All the cameras at a Japanese press conference.

It’s good to know that our graduate students at one of America’s finest, Northwestern University, are putting their biomedical engineering learning

to, um, ‘good use’.

Two students have created a Beer Pong Rubber that they are selling for $9.99.

The triangular shaped rubbers prevent plastic beer cups from slipping or moving when the drinking game is played – throwing or bouncing a ping pong ball into an opponents glass means the owner of the cup must guzzle down the beer.

Now, students can play the game and not make as big a mess as before…until they lose and throw up all over the place.

How about somebody inventing a bib that college students can wear to catch the discharge when they puke their guts out?

Oh boy, students in training who will grow up to never say, “Gee, I wish I had been drinking at the time.”

A 24-year old woman was arrested for letting her 5-year old son drive while she sat back in a drunken stupor.

The boy’s 3-year old brother was crawling around on the back seat of the car.

Police weren’t reassured when they asked the woman if she was okay and is this your toddler and she responded, “Yes, but he’s a good driver.”

The woman admitted to taking Percocet, a painkiller that she needed when the kids acted up and vodka.

The boy confessed to not being such a good driver – “My legs were too short to reach the pedals.”

Still…when he grows up, “I want to be a race car driver.”

Yeah…maybe, if his mom doesn’t kill him first.

Another reason why we never hear – Gee, I wish I had been drinking at the time.

People feel safe in hospitals.

Whatever was wrong will be made right….wrong.

Things can go wrong, terribly wrong in a hospital.

Consider

the Woman Jailed for Stealing a Baby from a hospital or

the doctors who got twin brothers mixed up!

In Japan, a woman eventually miscarried because nine, count ‘em, hospitals refused to see her when an ambulance brought her to their emergency rooms.

In the end, the ambulance collided with another car and another ambulance had to deliver her…but…not the baby.

That same Japan…three people, one a fashion model suffered burns when a surgeon erroneously applied high-density disinfectant to their faces and necks prior to a operations.

Uh…what was the disinfectant doing in the area in the first place?

And…why three at a time?…one a 20-year old student, a 34-year old woman and a 5-year old boy.

Still feeling safe when someone tells you are going to the hospital?

Barry Bonds’ home run balls aren’t getting any attention.

However, some chewed-up Michael Vick football cards have sold for $7,400 in an eBay auction with proceeds going to the Humane Society.

The seller gave the cards to her Great Dane puppy to chew on and then thought (how this idea came into her head I will never know) maybe somebody will buy these chewed up cards.

Sure enough…$7,400 later somebody did indeed buy them.

My dad used to say that people will buy anything. If you put a bucket of crap (not his word) on the front porch, sooner or later somebody would buy it, either because they want the crap or they want the bucket.

He was right.

So, who is more foolish in a case like this, the seller or the buyer?

Probably the hitter, IF it were Barry Bonds.

Now, if the Great Dane who chewed up the cards was on steroids when he did it, the price would go way down, I’m sure.

There’s a reason why thieves keep on stealing.

It has something to do with them not being too bright to begin with.

A thief ran off with a businessman’s briefcase at the Dusseldorf Airport in Germany.

S/he then ransacked the contents of the briefcase and tossed it aside…with the two cash-filled envelopes still in it!

The envelopes contained 10,000 euros ($13,660).

“Pen, notebook, scheduler, envelope, pictures, ticket stubs, envelope….”

“Dang it. Ain’t nothin’ worth stealin’ here.”

Yeah, who would imagine anything of value being found in an envelope? a fat envelope?

Lesson remember – haste makes waste? or, If you are going to do something, do it right, the first time.

My older sister, a teenager at the time, once bowled a 6.

Yup. She threw the ball 20 times and only knocked down six pins.

Then there are the people who throw the ball backwards, hit the ceiling or bounce a ball into the next or next to next lane over.

Somebody, some dude, some knothead…threw a bowling ball off a highway overpass and hit the windshield of a semitrailer truck.

Minnesota State Patrol is hoping somebody will brag about this idiocy at the watercooler or in the sauna and that the listener will turn him or her in.

If you know or hear about it…call 1-508-389-1171 – the State Patrol Mankate district office.

Wisdumb – the best lessons in life may be learning what not to do.

Teenagers, especially boys, think they are invincible.

Put them behind the wheel of a car and the stupidity is exponential – to the degree of the speed they are going.

A 19-year old in southwest Scotland took his Ford Escort for a 140mph cruise, filmed it and put it on Youtube…now, no longer there.

I find it hard to believe that a Ford Escort can go that fast, but that’s a different story. Maybe, the Youtube was to prove his Escort could go that fast. Ford is probably trying to get their hands on it.

Anyway, a police sergeant said the boy was “completely foolish.”

“Not only did he endanger his own life, but that of other road-users. It is unacceptable, and to post a recording of such driving on the Internet is entirely stupid.”

Uh…my brother once turned up his Ford something back in the 1960s. He and his buddies went speeding about and found themselves being chased by cops.

They outran the cops!

But…my brother felt guilty and decided to GO BACK to apologize to the police.

They accepted his apology by throwing him in jail.

My dad told him he did two stupid things:

1. outrun the cops

2. go back

Let’s see….the teenager did how many stupid things?

A 41-year old fireman and a 36-year old office workerbee in Japan were arrested for hiring a girl that both knew was under 18 for sex.

The law they violated was the Law for Punishing Acts Related to Child Prostitution.

One guy paid the 16-year old 15,000 yen ($120ish) to have sex at a hotel.

The other guy paid the same girl 30,000 yen for a rendezvous at a different hotel on a different day.

The older fellow got the better deal with the girl but both will find themselves in court.

They met the child through a cell-phone voice-mail dating service.

Sex makes people do the most stupid things.

Do you know who your kids are talking to on their cell-phones?

A woman in China was rejected by her boyfriend’s family because she couldn’t reproduce.

No biggie. She pretended to be pregnant.

When the due date came, she got herself admitted to the hospital. A couple of days later she told her boyfriend to pick her up.

She had a baby…one she stole from the obstetric’s department of the hospital.

Happiness ensued for a couple of days…when guilt got the best of her and she returned the baby to his family.

Okay…so, where was the hospital when all this was going on?

And, the boyfriend could be fooled for nine months into thinking he fathered a child…with a woman who had a tumor in her womb?

Also, what about the woman in the hospital who suddenly found her baby missing? What did she think the baby walked out? Got mistaken for someone else’s twin?

Meanwhile, the baby must surely be wondering, “Can I start my life over, please?”