Wispid

There’s a fertility festival that is held in Kawasaki – the Kanamara Festival.

Young women ride 10 foot penises, and middle-aged men gawk and take pictures.       

Large crowds of cross dressers carry huge portable shrines shaped like a phallus and sales people hawk candles shaped like genitalia of both sexes.

Demand exceeds supply….

Couples with fertility problems visit the shrine to pray for help.     

Couples without fertility problems also visit the shrine and pray for help…to stop.

More pix here.

A thief made off with 350 bras.

I couldn’t do it…I’d have to stop and take a look. There is no way I could just grab the undies and run.

Good news for the girls, nobody was wearing the bras when the thief stole the undergarments from a Victoria’s Secret store in broad daylight.

The anti-theft tags hooked on the bras didn’t tip off the store employees.

This thief was good…bra hooks, and anti-theft hooks.

Surveillance cameras didn’t catch him/her either.

Maybe they should check out the lady who went it with a 32a size and came out with a 56DD size.

Now if he was really really good, he could have gotten them off the girls without getting caught.

Motorists in New South Wales complained that there are insufficient signs off a side street saying there is a speed camera set up.

(I never understood why police need to inform motorists of such things, but then… there are lots of things I don’t understand.)

A lawyer offered to write a letter on behalf the motorists to complain…if each of 1000 people paid him $110 each to do so.

And, they did…all 1,000 of them.

So, which is more stupid, a lawyer charging people to do something they can do for free….or to pay him to do it?

There is no consolation in knowing that female teachers in Japan can be sexpidiots, too.

A 42-year old female junior high school music teacher was caught with the student in her car when the car was stopped at a traffic checkpoint.

The police were looking for the women at her family’s request. Through the course of questioning, their tryst was found out.

The teacher admitted to the allegations.

“I was with him for several days (before my arrest),” she told police.

The board of education responded – “We were surprised when we were contacted by police. We heard that she was an earnest-working teacher.”

Indeed, she did her best to know (in the Biblical sense) her students.

The family has a new baby, Carlee, named by dad AFTER the car because she was born IN the car.

Way to go, Dad.

Mom told him she wasn’t going to make it to the hospital if he delayed, but the stay-at-home dad insisted on making coffee and getting the kids off to school before they went to the hospital.

Bad choice – Mom gave birth to the kid in the family’s new Ford Expedition in front of a Toys “R” Us.

Carlee joins her 8 brothers and sisters 18-months – 16-years old to help raise dad.

One boy is named Pete and the other re-Pete. Another daughter was named Denise by the dad’s brother (her uncle.) The uncle named a third boy – DeNephew.

That’s how they do things in WVA, I reckon.

Driving a golf cart around campus at 2:20am in the morning, fast enough to roll the thing and throw your buddy out are good indications that the driver’s ability may be impaired somewhat ( a lot? ).

Hitting a police car is a dead giveaway.

Thankfully, the two 21-year olds didn’t have to die.

However, one was arrested on the spot…too drunk to run, perhaps?

The other was picked up a few days later.

See you in court, fellows.

“It’s okay, dear. You are at the hospital now. Just give me a few moments to make a phone call.”

“No.”

“No.”

“No.”

“No.”

“No.”

“No.”

“No.”

“No.”

“No.”

“No.”

“No.”

“No.”

12 phone calls later and the head of the hospital still had no takers to help the woman who was going to give birth to a premature baby.

“Well, if it can’t be helped.”

Finally, a doctor friend in a neighboring prefecture agreed….the 13th friend to be called that is.

The woman got to the hospital three hours later but had a miscarriage five days after that.

Gee, don’t you feel well now when they tell you that hospital will see you now?

A 37-year old construction worker thought his girlfriend was ‘playing around on him.’

So, he baked her a cake and laced it with sleeping pills.

After she passed out, he strangled her and abandoned the body.

He then turned himself into the police.

There’s a topless beach called the Porthemmet Beach in Cornwall.

It’s the largest in the country AND the only in Britain to allow topless sunbathing.

If you need directions tell anyone in the city that you are an *emmet (secret password) and the locals will give you directions AND you will fit right in.

If the locals tell you they don’t know where the beach is, ask someone else.

“There is a private joke in Cornwall where locals will pretend not to know where Porthemmet beach is. Don’t be fooled.”

In the worst case….tell them Cambridge graduate Jonty Haywood sent you.

*emmet -a derogatory word for tourists in Cornwall.

While University of Washington was winning its game on the field, two season ticket holders were also scoring (having sex) in a bathroom stall.

Police caught up with them AFTER they had finished doing their dirty with one another.

When asked to produce tickets, the guy couldn’t find his, and the girl’s was in her pants which were on inside out….her pants, NOT the ticket was inside out.

The two are facing up to 90 days in jail and a fine of $1,000.

The girl confessed – “I know, I know, I did it!” Her first time?

The guy, “Whatever, no big deal.”

Guess, he didn’t enjoy it as much as she did.

UW won the game.

The couple lost.

Talk about hard and firm. It would be like that if climbers were allowed nudity on Mt. Everest.

But, Nepal says, “Keep your clothes on.”

Attempts to set obscene records are also banned.

Let me see….Oh! THAT!

Last year, a Nepali climber claimed the world’s highest display of nudity when he disrobed for several minutes at the top…in minus 10 degrees Celsius.

Mt. Everest is worshiped as a god by those living at its foot.

There are fools who worship nudity, too…or think it’s the most important thing on earth…same thing as worship.

What’s the dumbest thing you ever did with no clothes on.

I spend time here writing about how stupid people can be when it comes to sex in sincere hopes that it will educate many and help just a little to turn off the valve of despicableness that can come out.

Police need help.

Police say, it can’t get worse than what happened to this little girl…and they (police) are asking for help.

“It’s as awful as you can imagine. It’s explicit and just about the worst you can imagine.

“It’s cases like that that push you towards the edge, if you know what I mean. This is obviously not the first time this subject has done that. Therefore, there could be hundreds of victims. We don’t have any way of knowing, but the guy needs to be taken off the streets.”

Here’s a picture of the little girl

and the man.

Please call 702-385-555 if you have any information.