Wispid

Here are Corpse Abuse and Corpse Abuse (part 2).

Grave robbers in Venezuela apparently would like to be on the list.

Practitioners of black magic who will pay out hundreds of dollars for bones and other artifacts ($300 for a human skull) have grave diggers in Venezuela working overtime.

The Venezuelan government does not prevent the thieves from desecrating the tombs so …they keep digging away.

Need $300?

Find these black magicians a human skull.

I had a run in with some black magicians when I was in Russia….hmm…maybe I need to write about that sometime.

A 17-year old boy entered a neighbor’s house while playing a game of hide-and-seek with friends.

Figuring if his friends can’t see his clothes then they can’t see him, he went nude.

A girl, also 17, in the house who was NOT playing the game…to the boy’s chagrin… found him sneaking into her mother’s bedroom while carrying his clothes.

He asked for help to be hidden…and she had a great idea.

I’ll call the police, they will put you in jail and your friends will never know where you are. How’s that?

The boy ran….

When the police asked for a description, she pointed him out in their high school yearbook.

Blonde?

What do you call a skeleton in the closet with blonde hair?

The winner of hide-and-seek.

What am I doing here?

Where did we come from?

What on earth am I supposed to do for heaven’s sake?

One dude in India knows the answer to two of those questions.

He has made it is his purpose in life to get up every morning before sunrise (Jesus used to do that but for a different reason) and he patrols the neighborhood with a flashlight and a whistle.

He is the sanitation guardian. He’s on the lookout for anyone squatting in the fields and alleys to fill up potholes and water weeds.

Latrines are more readily available…but Indians are slow to change their centuries-, make that milleniums-old habits.

The 46-year old farmer figures he has another 30 to 40 years on planet earth…maybe he can help affect a change.

I wonder if he knows Jeremiah the prophet. He preached for people to change their ways for 40 years….and look what happened to Israel.

They didn’t listen either.

“Hey, can you stand watch while I drop my drawers?”

“What am I looking for?”

“Some guy with a whistle and flashlight.”

I think I might have been on this flight….different day, thank goodness.

Some knucklehead from central Kentucky (most people from that part of the state qualify) has been accused of exposing his genitals on a Frontier Airlines flight from Louisville to Denver.

Guess he wanted to get a different kind of Rocky Mountain High…by getting his rocks…uh, never mind.

Passengers and flight attendants say they saw Junior. What?! Did they take turns?

The man is pleading innocent and is free on $20,000 bond.

A judge will decide on October 31st.

First question – “Were there any identifiable marks on junior?”

Once again the United States finds they are chasing Japan. Not long ago Japan introduced Muscle Exercises for Your Face w/ Nintendo DS Game.

In Manhattan’s wealthy Upper East Side a yoga instructor is teaching facial exercises designed to stretch and tone the facial muscles.

The “Lion” – let your tongue hang out and roll your eyes.

Nope…if some weirdo with too much money sticks her tongue out in my direction while on the train…count on me to roll my eyes.

And, golly…there’s a book…The Yoga Face: Eliminate Wrinkles with the Ultimate Natural Facelift.

The only thing more surprising is that people are likely to buy the book…rich people who don’t know what else to spend their money on.

The yoga instructor says, “I don’t rule it (Botox) out for myself.”

Yeah, if the Hindi meditation spiritual/emotional uplift high, feel-better-stretch-my face inner washing, ooey gooey doesn’t work…you can always fall back on the needle.

They do that in New York.

In Japan…it’s all a game. Even kids who play Nintendo know that.

I am for nuclear power. It’s likely a very good thing that I will never be president, too. I would have removed the hills of Afghanistan and the hunt for Bin-laden would mean looking for body pieces.

Recently in Japan, there was an earthquake and sure enough when there was a bit of leakage…there was also an attempted cover up.

Yesterday, a B-52 bomber flew across the United States after being mistakenly loaded with nuclear warheads.

How in the world can they ‘mistakenly load’ nuclear warheads?

The good news…the plane traveled between North Dakota and Louisiana. And since planes either crash on take off or landing, damage would have been minimum.

A spokesman said, “at no time was the public in danger.”

It is NOT the nuclear weapons or nuclear power that endangers us…it’s the handlers.

Nuclear power is NOT the problem…people are the problem.

Why can’t we find people who can be trusted to handle these things?

Yeah…that’s why the anti-nuke activists are so against them, ain’t it?

The Sichuan Broadcasting Station and Chengdu Broadcasting Station were during their part to contribute to global sexpidity…after 9pm for two to three hours a day.

The heart of the program – how sex drugs could improve performance and describing the various aspects of sex.

However, China’s big brother broadcasting and film regulator called the programs obscene and ordered them canceled.

The programs ‘tainted the social environment and young minds’ said big brother.

The programs ’seriously damage the stations’ image and ruin the reputation of the broadcasting industry’.

Yep…sex + stupid usually does that….to people,too.

Sometimes, we need to listen to our big brother, don’t we?

Alcohol is the social lubricant in Japan it is said.

It also works to loosen up cops, too.

The Japanese will do the strangest things after sipping a beer. If their actions become offensive they blame in the booze. If not, then they just roll with it.

A cop had a beer with some friends at the police station before heading home.

On his way home, he snatched a bag from a woman in the upscale Roppongi district in Tokyo.

An arrest followed…his…and he couldn’t blame it on the social lubricant either.

There’s a small town on the west coast of Japan called Oyashirazu.

Oya = parent. Shirazu = doesn’t know.

A parent was playing with her kid in the sea when the swells suddenly came up. The parent rushed to the shore not knowing that she had forgotten her child in the sea. The child drowned.

A woman in Cincinnati forgot she left her 2-year old in a car…for 8 hours!

It was 98 degrees outside. The windows were rolled up and the woman was sucking on donuts and doing school work. The little girl died.

The story is that mom forgot that she had not yet dropped off her daughter at the baby sitter.

The woman left the little girl in the car…bought the donuts…went back to the car…drove a mile…got out…took out the donuts via the hatchback and didn’t see, hear or remember her little girl in the back seat.

Another teacher finally noticed, albeit too late, 8 hours later that the little girl was still in the car.

The mom won’t be charged.

Lawyers argued that mom became distracted from her normal routine when she was sent to buy the donuts for a faculty meeting.

Let’s see…donuts…child…donuts? Yeah, it might be hard to remember you have a baby in the back when you are responsible for getting eight dozen donuts to a bunch of teachers whose job it is to teach children!

Lock the mom up in a car for eight hours with the windows up and temps pushing 100F…and then we’ll talk about it.

And put her lawyer in the car with her!!!

Um, people (I am not sure this guy qualifies), are doing the seriously stupid things as a result of sex in much younger packages these days.

A 16-year old raped his 22-year old sister AFTER he whopped her with a sledgehammer and stabbed her.

Her 2-year old daughter also got the sledgehammer and was locked in a room with a little one-year old boy.

Detectives found the 16-year old in the house and the dead body of his sister inside a padlocked room.

The children were found crying in another room.

The boy’s mother doesn’t believe he killed his sister -

 ”He don’t remember nothing he did,” she said. “He was out of it or something like that. It was an accident. He don’t remember that stuff.”

Yeah, the sledgehammer wielded itself, stabbed the sister with the sharp end and then violated her after accidentally hitting one of the kids and then locking them in the room. Oh, and the sledgehammer knew how to work a padlock as well…accidentally, of course, to lock the sister up after she was dead.