Don’t Work, Be Happy, Make Babies

Sep 12th, 2007 Posted in Uncategorized | no comment »

The governor of a central Russian province told couples to skip work today, stay home and make love to help boost Russia’s low birth-rate.

The prize …if a woman gives birth nine months from now on Russia’s national day – June 12th…a new home, maybe….or a fridge, television or a pair of scissors.

It’s part of a Kremlin campaign to boost the birth rate.

Unwed moms can get prizes, too.

This year, a family won a jeep because their fourth baby was born on the holiday.

Next year, the top prize will be an apartment.

In 2006, 26 babies were born. This year…78.

I have an idea to help promote the scheme…turn off all the electricity in the city for the day.

What else you gonna do?

4 Steps to being the Best Counterfeiter Ever

Sep 12th, 2007 Posted in Uncategorized | no comment »

A police officer said, “It’s the best counterfeit scheme I have seen in my law enforcement career. The bills look and feel real. Only an expert can tell they were fake.”

The weight of that statement has a lot to do with the length of the career of the GA cop…but that’s another story.

Another Georgia man made daily trips in his Rolls Royce to a storage facility where he created counterfeit bills….as much as $10,000 a day.

His technique – “Nigerian Black Wash”.

1. Use a laser template to imprint fake bills on ordinary paper cut to the appropriate size

2. Wash the bills with iodine to bring out the printing

3. Vitamin C powder to remove the black stain of the iodine

4. Use baby powder to make the bills feel used.

Gosh, all I need is a laser template and I can be on my way….to Jail.

He was busted for NOT paying his rent on the storage facility.