Wispid

Confucius said, “Find a job you love to do and you never have to work a day in your life.”

Mr Skin of www.mrskin.com has a job he loves.

He has chronicled nude women in more than 25,000 movies and television show.

His life work – to know how much naked female flesh appears in movies.

While the rest of us just look…Mr. Skin calculates, tapes, cuts, saves nude scenes on separate tapes.

Mr Skin’s web site featured in the movie “Knocked Up”, gets nearly 7 million hits a month + one more…I just went there.

Mr Skin says he celebrates nudity in mainstream films.

Angelina Jolie is the most prolific mainstream actress…naked in 10 movies.

Yeah…porn, it’d be like 100% of the time, no. What’s the fun in calculating that?

Now Mr. Skin has a book dedicated to his wife who was “never naked in a movie”…”Mr. Skin’s Skintastic Video Guide” to “the 501 greatest movies for sex and nudity on DVD.”

I think I’ll wait till the movie version comes out.

A Bloomsburg University student president had enough.

He wrote a letter to the Press Enterprise of Bloomsburg about media coverage of the college’s annual Block Party.

The student prez wrote – stories have “painted BU students with a broad and negative brush and are both inaccurate and extremely unfair to the thousands of responsible, mature Bloomsburg students who are an asset to the school and this community.”

Then he went out and celebrated by getting drunk.

The cops pulled him over for going 50mph in a 15-mph zone and a breath test showed he had .147 blood-alcohol level…over the .08 legal limit.

He was charged with a DUI, speeding and careless driving.

I guess what he meant to say was that the president of the student government could play by different rules than the student body….

But that sort of thing doesn’t happen in the real world, does it?

Yeah, right.

Minneapolis-St Paul International Airport needs to find something else for passengers to do while waiting for their flight….or not.

They have Senator Larry Craig’s toilet stall…the one where he was arrested in a sex sting…for soliciting gay sex.

He pleaded guilty…but then changed his mind.

People are flocking to the stall to take pictures inside and out…”‘It’s by the Lottery shop, right next to the shoeshine shop,’ said newsstand worker” says a newsstand worker and information specialists (that’s the little boys and girls…sometimes grandmas and grandpas who sit behind the counter and don’t know where you can find free wifi).

Uh…is there a new phrase in the making…instead of mind in the gutter…how about mind in the toilet?

And instead of ‘potty mouth’….’potty minds?’

A Venezuelan man had been declared dead after a highway accident.

He was taken to a morgue. Dead people go there after a doctor pronounces them, um, dead.

The examiners at the morgue realized something was wrong when the man started bleeding after they cut into his face.

The second clue, the man woke up screaming in excruciating pain.

Yup…those would be two clues that he wasn’t dead, wouldn’t they?

When his wife turned up to the morgue to identify the body…she found him moved to a corridor …alive!

Bleeding…check

Screaming…check

Witnesses…check

I hope that if I am ever in a car accident they take me to a doctor who knows the difference between dead and alive and can figure that out without cutting on me.

See also:

Part 5 – Choose Your Hospital Well (part 5)

Part 4 – Choose Your Hospital Well (part 4)

Part 3 – Choose your hospital emergency room well

Part 2 – Choose Your Hospital Well …IF They Will Let You in

Part 1 – Hospitals Not So Safe Anymore?

On resurrection day (that’s Sunday for most of the world), Grace, by the grace of somebody is alive again.

The woman was buried 11 years ago …but now is back, says her parents…uh, both sets of them. Two couples are saying the resurrected Grace is their daughter.

Grace has two kids and a husband, a popular Zambian boxer who was bopped speechless by the news that his wife has come back to life.

The police have ordered a DNA test to determine who the real biological parents of Grace are and an exhumation of whomever it is that got buried 11 years ago.

Even Jesus didn’t have this much trouble coming back from the dead.

Here’s a phone number to call if you see this guy – 508-775-0445.

A man was spotted (it’s always the men) masturbating in the parking lot of a gas station….at 8 am in the morning.

My goodness…what kind of kook has to get his rocks off before breakfast AND before he fills up his car.

But we have sketch….and he is driving a red pickup truck with silver stripes.

He is in his late 30s with light-blue eyes and tattoos on his left arm.

The witnesses saw all of this and nobody thought to tell the man to put junior away?!

The Cape Cod Times says – Public masturbation is considered lewd behavior and is against the law.

Gee…really, now?

A prisoner is afraid he is being targeted by other inmates because he is being forced to wear a pink jumpsuit.

There is a a nationwide effort by prison and jail officials to tap the power of pink to subdue criminals.

Pink-wearing inmates are forced to do so as a punishment for sexual misconduct.

It “conveys no suggestion that the inmate wearing the jumpsuit is a willing participant in homosexual activity or otherwise vulnerable to … assault,” says the Department of Corrections.

A sheriff in Texas “put all inmates in pink jumpsuits, he put them in pink shoes, pink underwear and pink socks. He painted cell walls pink and put in pink sheets and towels.”

The result – 68% reduction in return customers.

Prisoners have no rights as far as I’m concerned. Being incarcerated ought to be the most miserable and demeaning experience a person can imagine…such that they never want to go back.

And, for sexual offenders…pink seems to be quite fitting.

A man, living on an $8,000/month, trust fund was caught driving around in his Jeep with his dead girlfriend of four days.

The girl apparently had overdosed four days earlier.

A witness said he saw a man wheeling a shopping cart with what appeared to have a body in it.

Maybe she wanted to go shopping, too?

The guy is going to jail for seven years for interfering with a proper burial and for 15 more years for drug related charges.

He will also pay $250K to each parent of the girl.

The lawyer wanted $1 million each…a bigger share for him?

Things can go terribly wrong

See also

Corpse Abuse

Corpse Abuse (part 2)

Corpse Abuse (part 3)

The 19-year old endured rape by her brother…..abuse…from her brother…but when he burned down their mother’s house….no mas!

A judge convicted her now 28-year old brother of incest and assault.

The woman said she came home to find her brother drinking (WARNING!).

He asked her to join him (WARNING!)

When she wanted to stop, he pressured her to drink more (WARNING! WARNING!!)

When she woke up, she found her brother having sex with her. (YUCK!)

The woman didn’t report the rape or a subsequent incident when he choked and kicked her because she was a “forgive and forget’” person.

However, last year, her brother came home drunk (WARNING!) and burned their mother’s house down.

She lost ultrasound pictures of her baby and their (late) dad.

That was the last straw.

Rape..abuse…but not the pictures.