Wispid

Jesus would be alarmed to know that his mother was a lemon, er, found in a lemon.

A Texas bar owner/police officer says his son saw the face of the Virgin Mary in a lemon slice.

The Watauga police force member said his son saw the Virgin Mary’s face on a lemon slice he was cutting for the business – Texas Billiard’s Bar.

Seems to me like somebody wants to give people the business, but…

The cop said at first he sort of saw the face. However, after taking a picture the image became more obvious.

The Methodist with a Baptist wife that don’t attend church every week are keeping the Madonna in their freezer.

Key word in this story….BAR.

What do you do when you are bored?

Stand around.

What do you do when you are naked?

Stand around in front of a window.

What do you do when you are bored and naked?

Put on your hat and try to rob the nearby convenience store.

A 24-year old naked man told police he tried to rob the convenience store because he “was bored.”

Try is an operative word here as well/.

The female clerk  refused to give him any money and called 911 while he walked away still undressed.

I guess she figured he didn’t have any place to put the cash anyhow.

I thought the guy in Germany who hid dildos in his sausage (not THAT sausage) was a nut case.

Sexpids are down under, too.

An Australian burglar broke into his neighbor’s house and played sex games with a bottle of toilet detergent and a vacuum cleaner!

He also used a piece of wood and a rubber glove.

He used porn mags for, um, well, I dunno.

The judge sentenced him to 12 months of community service instead of jail because he had a steady job for two years AND he had just become a father.

“Pop, whaddya doin’ with that vacuum cleaner and those rubber gloves? Can we do some male bonding, maybe?”

A woman entered a sumo ring in Japan for first time ever.

So sacred is the ring that a female governor in Osaka and to relegate prize-giving duties to a subordinate because she wasn’t allowed in the ring to do so.

But…in the spirit of “help, bad spirits” a middle-aged woman jumped into the ring, partially anyway.

A wrestler, Takamisakari, and a referee kept her from getting all the way in.

Religion, fanaticism, spiritual motivations will cause people to try the most zany things….no?

Perhaps had the middle-aged woman been a few years younger and been willing to wear just the obi/sumo belt she would have received a better reception.