Wispid

The 46-year old man had to keep calling and calling and calling the local CVS pharmacy to speak to the same girl cause he just had to know what she thought of the nude photos he took of himself.

Judging from nothing but his mug shot, the man should have been arrested for scaring people too far ahead of Halloween.

Police say he didn’t violate the law for having the nude pictures developed but because he kept badgering the store clerk.

There should be another law that prevents a man like this from showing himself, too.

Leave it on?

Take it off?

Looks better on?

Looks better off?

It took four skillful craftsman one month to finish the 950gram (2lb+) gold underwear.

And, just moments for her to put it on…and quicker to ….

A couple of, 33- and 26- years old left their 1-year old boy and 5-month old girl in their Ford Expedition at around 8pm while they went into the restaurant to sip margaritas for about half an hour.

Mom said she drove their drunk with the children in the car.

When asked if she regretted her actions – nope was the reply.

Passersby alerted the police.

The children were turned over to a family member and the poor excuse for parents – one is free on $10,000 bond and the other is being held in jail on $7,500 bond.

A man was arrested for trespassing.

Too drunk to recognize that his key did not work the door, he was not at home, the furniture was different and his dog was gone, a man broke into a home and offered a drink to the real owner when he arrived home.

The drunk’s home was two doors down.

It reminds me of a story of a drunk who was driven home by some cops.

“Thassh my street, offizzzer.”

“You sure?”

“Thassh my house, offizzer.”

“Are you sure”

“And, thassh my front door, too.”

“Let me walk you in.”

“See? Thassh the steps leadin’ to me bedroom.”

“Okay…I’ll take you upstairs.”

“An’ look offizzzer…see that man in my bed with my wife? Thasssh me!”

A state lawmaker was teaching a high school class how a bill becomes a law when the image he flashed was a nude woman flashing.

The state rep inserted his memory stick and an image of a topless woman appeared instead of the graphics presentation he had downloaded.

The students became interested in even more graphic details, I assume and perhaps what else he might have inserted and where.

Some seniors in the civics class snickered.

Further examination of the memory stick found it loaded with nude images in addition to his presentation.

“I have no idea where these came from,” said the democrat.

Yeah, and he didn’t REALLY look at them either.

The guy survived tours of duty in Bosnia, Kosovo and Iraq.

He also knew how to get the best of his 6-year old daughter when he raped her.

But, the divorced father of five couldn’t succeed at taking his own life on an overdose of medication.

He was found with a Bible and a large cross on his chest by medics in full military dress. He had no pulse. Still, the EMTs got his heart going again.

Apparently, the knucklehead and called ahead.

He’s going to face up to 18 years IF he wakes up.

I don’t know which way to pull for him.

How about you?

Mom wanted to give her little girls peace.

She called the 2- and 4-year old’s father and told him he didn’t need to worry anymore because they were at peace.

When he ran home, he found them drowned in the bath tub.

I can think of another way to give the girls peace, can’t you?

How about putting mom in the bath tub and seeing how long she can hold her breath?

In a sting operation, a cop offered a 56-year old man the chance to have sex with his 11-year old and sleep nude with her.

In exchange the old fart said he would give the cop, who was posing as the girl’s father, tickets to the Miami Dolphins football game. (Guess the geezer didn’t like just watching little girls play.)

The man was arrested when he went to meet the father and the daughter in a parking lot.

The meeting was arranged by chat on the Internet.

The same detective was key in another sting last month when a couple tried to get a 15-year old to run away with them to Las Vegas to be the husband’s sex partner.  Huh?!

A 13-month old baby girl fell out of a six-story window where she lived and survived!

Her mother rushed down to find her on the ground, then took her to the hospital where the doctor’s said she had only a slight cerebral concussion and a few scratches.

Doctors can only speculate as to how she survived the fall – “She may have touched the soft earth below with her arms as she dropped off the building.”

I recommend we drop her mother out of the sixth floor window and have her tell us how the toddler survived.

And, how did the little girl fall out in the first place?