Wispid

After 45 years of hanging around in the front garden of a condo, the Virgin Mary has been sent to the back yard.

The community’s homeowner’s association board approved a rule banning:

religious statues

bird feeders

birdbaths

from all common areas.

The Virgin Mary feeding birds is the worst.

We lived in a condo for a while. Our homeowner’s association wouldn’t know the Virgin Mary from the Birdman of Alcatraz.

Mary may indeed belong in the backyard…but it seems strange to me that you have HOA’s making the decision.

A community church in Englewood, CO is hosting “Halo” nights to attract male youths.

Microsoft’s Halo 3 cannot be bought by anyone under 17 – M for Microsoft, Mature.

But, 12 year olds can harm and maim their enemies as the infamous Master Chief on a Halo tournament night on any of three TVs put out by the church.

The Youth Minister says they “want to make it hard for teenagers to go to hell.”

They don’t have to…the church can make it easier for them to live Hell out in the here and now.

What you win the kids with, is what you win them to.

Two eighth graders in Houston, one boy and one girl were caught in the act…in a sex act …in a classroom….while other students watch.

WHERE WAS THE TEACHER!!!!!????

The principal sent a letter home to parents explaining the situation.

“Inappropriate contact with each other” while other students watched.

Children in the classroom are telling their parents that the act went on when the teachers stepped out of the room.

Parents are saying there needs to be more supervision….

Okay…volunteer up and come sit in the classroom.

Teachers are saying – teach your children to have respect for one another and for the rules of decency.

What I see…more sexpidiots in the making.

Australians are letting their kids take pole dancing lessons.

They are training for what, we wonder?

Instructors maintain the classes are for building strength and flexibility.

Kids say its fun, different, great exercise.

Moms say – “It’s not slutty or anything. I’ve seen pole dancing on TV and they don’t do anything like that here.”

That? Like what, Mom? What did you see on TV? Or was it somewhere else?

The owner of the dance studio says - “You’re not about to deprive people from doing (an exercise because it) could be taken as sexual.” 

Uh, why not?

Aren’t there enough exercise choices to be made that one doesn’t have to resort to anything that might be remotely suggestive?

The question is not “is it wrong?” but rather “what right can we do?”

Want to play with a bar…try gymnastics.

A 41-year old man with a criminal past stole a 52 cent doughnut, stuck it in his shirt and pushed aside a clerk as he tried to flee.

Shoplifting became strong-armed robbery with a potential prison term of 5-15 years + criminal past = up to 30 years, for stealing a doughnut?

Why didn’t he just scarf it down and walk out?

The police chief says “the amount of force and value of the property doesn’t matter. It’s not the doughnut, it’s the assault.”

The man, who in the end didn’t get to eat the doughnut, had been arrested previously for:

shoplifting

drug possession

torching a car for insurance

and now

stealing a doughnut.

It’s not about the doughnut…it’s about how it’s all added up.

Just like that one doughnut won’t kill you, but eat enough of them and it will add up.

A red lipstick wearing art lover lost control and kissed a $2 million Cy Twombly painting in Avignon, France.

The picture’s owner wants $2 million in damages and $70K for restoration.

The Cambodian artist said she was “overcome with passion.”

Her lawyers are calling it an ‘act of love.’

The owner’s lawyer said the picture did not ‘consent.’

Can she be said to have sexually assaulted the painting?

A woman tried to raise money for drugs in downtown Reno by pandering her 12-year old daughter.

The mom also had her daughter live with her in a motel room with a convicted sex offender.

Mom admitted that endangering her daughter was “stupidest thing” she’s done in her life.

Yeah…I’ll say.

The mom coached the little girl on how to solicit men for sex, get the money and escape once they were both inside a car.

Gee, Mom….thanks for the education.

Interpol has more than 520,000 images submitted by 36 member states.

Police have used the database to identify and rescue nearly 600 victims from 31 countries.

Another appeal –

Have you seen this man?

The man has appeared in around 200 photos in which he was shown abusing 12 young boys.

The picture might have been taken in Vietnam or Cambodia.

This is the cool part – computer experts in Germany were able to unswirl the pattern that had been used to hide his face.

Have you seen the guy?

Turn him in – now!

A cop down under, Victoria, who had a male-to-female operation is unwelcomed in the changing room of other policewomen.

The girls don’t want to make formal complaints because they think there is already enough sexism in the work place…AND…they don’t want to be exposed as the ones making the complaints…BUT…they don’t want “Bernice” in the changing room either.

“Put her in the disabled room,” they are saying.

The trans-cop was moved to another station.

There is no answer to the problem…yet.

Meanwhile Bernice needs to go to the bathroom and doesn’t know where to go.