Wispid

Mexico City is apparently cracking down on drunken drivers….priests included.

A priest, identified by his papers and clutching a prayer book, was pulled over for driving erratically.

When the cops said they were going tow his car…he went after them with fisticuffs.

A few hours in jail and his fine paid-in-full, the priest is off to mass and wine and…

“Yo, Padre. We’re gonna have to tow your car.”

“Noth on my rife. Take dissss!”

The car just kind of idled along…while the driver slept.

The cop chased it, on foot…while the driver slept.

A cop jumped onto the running board and reached in and steered the car….while the driver slept.

The cop finally got the car to stop by putting it into neutral and coasting….while the driver slept.

The cops woke the man up….drunk and no license.

“Dr. David” parked and dined with other hospital physicians.

He even checked out a hospital employee’s aching knee for free.

Dr. David was really one of the landscapers.

The hospital thinks that he never had access to a patient but he did manage to get a physician’s parking pass.

He did take one hospital employee off medication and pass out prescription drugs (physician’s samples) to someone else.

He’s been arrested, but police have yet to determine how much and who he treated.

And you thought things were going to be alright once you got to the hospital.

“Yo, doc. Can you check out my shoulder? It hurts when I do this.”

“Well, then don’t do that.”

“Any other advice?”

“Uh. Hang on and I’ll get my hedge trimmers.”

A man dressed and lived as a woman so he could embezzle money from an elderly victim….think real but nasty Mrs. Doubtfire.

The man worked for a year as a woman before he was caught stealing when a family member audited the older victims bank account.

She, er, he wasn’t caught standing up in the bathroom…it was the stealing that caught him or her in trouble.

So, um, where were the family members when they hired this guy?

“You wanna take care of my grandma?”

“Yes, I would like that very much.”

“Okay, standard procedure is for us to have you drop your drawers, or raise your skirt.”