Wispid

She, 33-years old. He, half her age.

She, the teacher. He, a mentally challenged student.

She…also mentally challenged.

The woman had sex with the teenager up to a dozen times and now faces charges of engaging in lewd and lascivious behavior and …of course…jail time.

The police came on to the affair when they spotted six teens wearing green and white Halloween skeleton gloves speeding away on bicycles in 80 degree weather.

The teens jumped into a Jeep that belonged to the teacher. When she came to get her car…busted!

Can’t trust teachers…can’t trust teenagers with skeleton gloves on in FL to keep their mouths shut, either.

Two Finance Ministry Bureaucrats needed to get out of their stuffy funk…the wrong way.

The 34- and 28-year olds gang raped a Tokyo woman in her apartment.

One denies the allegations and the other has admitted to them.

The two men picked up the woman at about 1 am and went to ….jan jan…drink at a nearby pub.

The two drunks asked the woman to let her stay with them until the morning train…and the rest is stupid…she, them, drinking…rape…lies…arrest….jail…

Travelodge of London says its 300 business hotels are being overrun, um, walked, with naked sleepwalker…95% of them men.

The zombies show up at the front desk asking for a newspaper, for directions to the bathroom, to check out…but never for a towel to cover up.

Consequently, Travelodge is training their night staff on how to deal with the problem…starting with the towel.

Most fellows NEED covering up.

Sleepwalking is caused by…

1. booze

2. stress

3. eating cheese

4. too much caffeine

Nervous day after work, spiked coffee and some brie….see you at the front desk.

Some cornball in China wrote an IOU to the girl he broke up with for Y100,000 ($13,300) as compensation.

The two fell in love…lived with one another for a year…fell out of love and separated. The man wrote the IOU to the girl and went his way.

Three years later…the ex- took the IOU to an Intermediate People’s Court.

The court ruled the IOU is valid and the man has to pay up.

Y100,000 can mean as much as 4-6 years’ salary for the fairly well to do Chinese.

How much do you make in a year?

Multiply that by 4 and give it to your ex-girlfriend…that one you can’t stand anymore.

That’s the idea.

A Transport Official is being transported to the local pokey.

He was arrested for kicking a policeman when they squabbled over the fare for a taxi cab.

The drunk didn’t want to pay, refused to understand…well, he was drunk…

The taxi cab driver couldn’t get the money he was owed. The cab which happened to be parked in front of a police box got the attention of the policeman.

When the cop came over to try and settle things…the drunk kicked him.

Well…the drunk got kicked back…into jail for the night.

Three advertising executives were found guilty of knowingly publishing prostitution ads – “adult services” and “massages” among other things that netted them $750K and $1.25M respectively in ad revenue.

“We don’t care what they are selling as long as they pay us.”

Investigators cared.

The three are behind bars for ‘facilitating prostitution and benefiting from its proceeds.’

“My mom is way cooler than your mom.”

“Yeah, well your mom can be cool in jail.”

Mom…was driving the cheerleaders to a high school game when another car full of boys who were fools came driving nearby.

‘Beer?’

Mom, driving a school van drove by close enough to the other car that the boys could pass them a beer…see, she is cool.

It was two weeks after the fact that somebody tipped off the school as to just how cool the mom was/is.

The girls have been suspended. Mom no longer drives for the school.

Instead, they sit home together and be…cool.

The job market is fierce in China.

It makes more sense say local dating services for senior girls to look for husbands than to look for jobs….business is booming.

The girls want to date a rich man BEFORE they graduate.

Promises of marriage are made as soon as they graduate if they find the right fellow.

Rich man? Job?

Staying attached to both will require quite a bit of work.

Which would you rather do…fight hard to get a job and make a living…or to be beautiful, as fleeting as beauty is so that you can marry a rich dude and fight later to try and stay attached to someone who is so shallow they only marry someone for their looks?

Tough call, eh?

By the time the Columbia Restaurant staff kicked the girls and their dates out…all 250 or so of them…they had vomited everywhere, fought, broken the toilets, stole from the bar and just plain got soused.

250 kids in semi-formal attire sounds like good money for a 102 year old historic restaurant.

But..when 200 of them, many underaged, showed up drunk, things went down hill real fast.

“The group turned our 102 year old fine dining restaurant into a frat house.”

Yeah…drinking changes the way a lot of things look.

A Santa Cruz, CA woman, I am going to have to stop calling them mothers, threw her 18-month toddler off a balcony 30 feet to the ground.

The baby didn’t bounce.

A family friend was able to revive the baby using CPR.

The woman was charged with attempted murder.

First, let’s throw her off a balcony…then set the court date.