Wispid

A 74-year old man was busted for stalking a 60-something cafe mama-san.

“I just love her. I knew it was wrong, but I just had to see her face,” he told the police.

The man was arrested for breaking a suspended sentence.

The woman’s good service was mistaken by the man as romantic interest and he hasn’t been able to let go of the urge since.

The guy has been hanging around the cafe, meddling with the signs on her establishment and….

74-years old?

Maybe it should be 7.4 years old.

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A dog in England ate some 40 pairs of underwear before nature stopped taking its course.

The owners had to have a vet open the dog and take out the last pair which belonged to their 3-year old son.

The dog allegedly ate some 300 socks, 15 pairs of shoes and a key ring.

Um, excuse me, but the owners did not stop the dog because of why?

I think they should be made to eat a pair of dog underwear.

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The 18-year old told police “I’m a pervert.”

He broke into a neighbor’s home, logged onto pornographic web sites, then took sexually explicit photographs of himself using one of the residents’ cell phones while they SLEPT!

The violated woman said she found the pix on her roommate’s cell phone and called police.

And, how in the world did they sleep through all that?

I really want to know.

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A woodwind instructor at a public high school lured school girls into sex by telling them it would improve their musical abilities.

More likely it improved his…helping him sing.

The 33-year old music teacher got away with his ploy on 13 school girls.

That’s a lot of stupid girls if you ask me.

“If you have sex, you’re musical ability will shine,” he told them.

Yeah, I think he just wanted these blowers to make him shine.

“You’ve got to have sex because your music lacks oomph. I’ll lend you a hand.”

I am pretty sure it was the teach who got the hand.

The woodwind teacher had been in charge of the club for nine years.

The trial is ongoing.

Um, how could so many girls be so stupid for so long?

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A British teacher in Sudan is facing being lashed for Muhammad – the Stuffed Teddy Bear.

One man who has been through it gave an account – he was charged with breaking an alcohol ban in Qatar, which he denies.

“Tuesday was punishment day. There were 22 of us on the list and one by one we were led into the doctors’ clinic to be examined.

Finally, it was my turn and they laid me on a couch, spent several minutes discussing me and, after listening to my heart, judged me fit.

Having been searched to make sure we had no padding under our clothes, another man and I were ushered into the waiting room.

His name was called out first so I remained in the waiting room while he received his punishment next door.

I could hear the cane whooshing through the air and landing with a thud, 50 times.

And then it was me. The room where we were beaten was….

the rest of the story….

50 lashes could be an appropriate punishment for many of the drink abusers found here at Wispid, no?

SUV sales are up almost 60% in China.

Meaning…it won’t be long before the back side of a Chinese person looks like the backside of their car.

Nor will it be long before the BMW drivers realize they can’t see around the cows on wheels.

Great Wall Motor, Chery Auto, Hyundai Tucson and Dongfeng Honda are the main SUV makers.

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A woman admitted to stuffing her 83-year old mother into two garbage bags, then placing her into a U-Haul and later dumping her along a dirt road.

That’s what you get for taking care of your kids all these years.

A proper eternal resting place.

Gotta love those bags.

The woman said she wanted to keep cashing the monthly retirement checks that were coming her mom’s way.

Detectives found other remains – a hip replacement rod – that belonged to the woman’s mother.

I say we put two plastic bags in a room…one here and one way over there. Then put this daughter in the bags.

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The court granted a divorce to a man who says his wife lied to him about her age.

She said she was 24-years old before they got married.

However, after they got hitched, she ‘fessed up to really being 30-years old.

Doggone Asian girls. Even the locals can’t tell how old they are.

A little slow on the intake, it took the man 10 years to figure out she wasn’t playing straight with him.

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A top politician in Japan got his kicks and likely loss a few votes among the conservatives, and picked up a few from, well there are no non-conservatives in Japan.

The DPJ chief mimicked the pose of a a popular cross-dressing makeup artist in Japan – Ikko.

The DPJ won a ‘Trendy’ prize for his part in helping the DPJ to win the House of Councillors election.

Other trend winners –

“White Plan,” a relatively cheap monthly basic rate system for SoftBank Mobile phones,

“Billy’s Boot Camp” won the award in the hobby and leisure category.

McDonald’s “Mega Mac” won the award for the life and health division.

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A white van hit a woman and dragged her for 420 meters, more than 4 football fields, before it could finally speed off.

The woman died, and the driver of the van is probably still looking under his vehicle.

The accident happened at 6:10am…and the cops are asking for help.

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Heading to the hospital. Feeling like all will be well now as soon as the doctors do their thing.

WRONG!

A man had his colon stapled to his bladder instead of the rectal stump.

Sounds serious enough.

Not long after that, fecal matter in the form of diarrhea started coming out of his penis in the from of a liquid stool and urine came out his rear.

Yeah, and his penis had gas, too.

The docs said ‘these structures are very close to one another, but it shouldn’t happen.’

Really, now. It shouldn’t happen.

Who wouldn’t want to hear a penis fart?

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Mom and the kids were on the verge of losing their home to foreclosure.

She couldn’t afford a trip to the doctor. (me, either)

So, she prayed for help….and trusted in the six numbers she picked for the LOTTO drawing…and won the $9 million jackpot.

Opting for the $4.5 million cash lump sum which she will lose some 60% to taxes, mom plans to pay off the mortgage and other bills, send money back home to the Philippines and help her sons finish paying college.

After that, she will be in debt again and praying she hits the right numbers and wins the lottery.

What do you pray for?

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