Wispid

Two Southern Illinois University Edwards students kidnapped a teenager, paddled him and burnt him with hot cookies to try and get him to settle a drug debt.

The students also poured urine on him and partially shaved his head.

The victim had stolen a stash of marijuana that the knuckleheads had valued at $400.

When the victim persuaded his kidnappers to go home and get some money, he called 911.

“Alright dude. Give us some money or these hot cookies, fresh out of the oven and smelling good, are going on your chest.”

“YYaaaHH!!!!”

Yup…they can be pretty huge in China as well.

A man grew to 330 lbs, a lightweight by some U.S. standards, and his family had to call a doctor in to give him attention. 

The doc wanted to get him to the hospital but all the kings horses and all the kings men couldn’t get him moved.

Police were called in…still immovable.

Finally, the fire department had to be called in to help carry the 32-year old tub of lard down the steps and into an ambulance.

So, um, why does it take so long for people to notice that they are so fat? 

A woman in China claims her dog knows what she wants.

So, the dog goes shopping for her, buys buns and brings them back, all while caring for her litter of puppies.

The woman said she was also offered $4K for the dog.

Um…I dunno.

But, I did hear about a dog who went shopping for some meat for his master. The dog picked out types of meat, and even ensured the change was correct if the butcher acted inappropriately.

However, when reporters followed the dog to make sure they were stunned by one incident.

The dog upon returning home, looked around, scratched his head, then stood on his hind legs and rung the doorbell.

The dog’s owner came out and beat the snot out of the dog with a newspaper.

When the reporter told the owner how marvelous his dog was, choosing meat, counting change and all that…the owner replied, “Yeah, he can do all that, but this is the third time this week he forgot his keys to let himself back in.”

A man in China talked his wife out of a coma.

The woman fell from a high building and seriously damaged her brain.

The guy sat next to her for months, massaged her hands and talked to her continuously.

Sure enough, she woke up and hasn’t stopped talking since.

Other guys want to know NOT how he got her awake, but how he got her to shut up, fall off the high building in the first place, no?