Wispid

A 24-year old boy, highly intelligent and oftentimes Grim Reaper, said he got a sexual thrill out of kicking and beating a 35-year old care worker to death.

It was ‘enjoyable and fun.’

The boy started binge drinking when he went to university and became hooked.

Before killing his victim, a stranger to him, the boy had drunk at least five pints of lager before going to the club where he drank Carling, champagne, and Sambucca.

They spent two hours listening to country and western music at her apartment. When that didn’t do the trick, he decided to take matters into his own hand.

He told police, “I actually quite enjoyed the experience; I remember thinking she was doing amazingly well not to be dead already.”

He also told police, “I am monster. I am the grim reaper” while he stomped her to death ….despite her pleading to placate him.

Still don’t believe in the death penalty?

Police in Houston are investigating the possibility that someone might have been left inside the Crowne Plaza Hotel when the Cherry Demolition firm imploded the building.

Police received a tip that has led to the investigation AFTER the 13-story building was leveled.

And, that is why we read the instructions –

Caution: Remove people before imploding buidling.

A husband in China says his wife loves their dog more than him.

The dog, he says, has become the object of her affection and consequently, he wants a divorce.

The judge responded – ‘work it out.’

In Japan, they say “inu mo fufugenka kuwanai.”

A dog will not get in the middle of a couple’s fight.

In other words, when a couple fights, if the dog gets in the way, both of them will kick the dog.

Not so in China it seems. The woman will go for the dog.

A 79-year old nun is facing charges of child sex abuse that happened 40 years ago. She could land in jail for up to 20 years.

Two teenage boys said she repeatedly molested them in the 1960s sometimes at her house.

A third victim had committed suicide.

The two victims are now in their mid 50s.

One of them says the Sister if ‘like Dracula’ to me. I can’t forgive her yet.’

Yeah, why should we forgive Dracula?

The guy couldn’t pick someone is own age to have sex with..he, 30, she, 10.

He couldn’t kill himself right either.

When convicted, he jumped off the third floor of the courthouse balcony, hit his head on the marble railing on the way down, busted a knee, broke some bones and survived!

They should have left him there for a while before collecting him and taking him to the hospital.

Better yet, take him as is and leave in jail to stew over his idiocy, no?

I don’t believe in ghosts, I don’t believe in ghosts, I don’t believe in ghosts.

But, if they are blue and need to fill up on gas from time to time, then I might have to rethink my convictions.

It flips and this sits idle. It flies off, then returns.

It also likes cars in Ohio.

There’s a ghost or an angel hanging out at a Marathon Gas station in Ohio.

A little girl, less than 12-years old, is accusing her martial arts instructor of inappropriately touching her…more than a year ago!

The little girl says that while the other were watching a movie, she was singled out by the instructor, 20-years old, who began to rub her private parts.

Denials, denials….

No adults were around.

The instructor faces ruin….and has been arrested.

Don’t touch, don’t look at, don’t even close your eyes and imagine that there might be little girls in this world.

Going skydiving? Stay away from Rosharon, TX.

If you don’t turn up, nobody will go looking for you.

Or, I suppose I mean, if you don’t land, they won’t go looking for you.

A man’s parachute failed to open and he landed in a field about a mile from the Skydive Spaceland hangar.

Nobody at the hangar thought it unusual when he didn’t turn up after the last jump, figuring he had gone home.

We’re number 1! We’re number one!

The United States has set a new record for the number of cases of chlamydia…over 1 million.

Gonorrhea rates are on the rise.

Syphilis cases are up, too.

Isn’t this exciting?

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention says the number of STD cases is the highest they have been since 1978.

Looking for a silver lining…the higher number might be the result of better and more intensive screening.

Meaning…it was much worse before than we knew about?

Black women…have seven times more cases of chlamydia than whites, and two times more than Hispanics.

Gonorrhea fell to its lowest measured levels in 60 years in 2005, but has started rising again in the past two years.

Is there a silver lining here, too?

“Hopefully we will not see this turn into a trend,” says an infectious diseases specialist at Johns Hopkins University’s School of medicine.

Yeah, lets hope so. Rubber mallets and hammers come to mind.

A man told the 22-month old’s mother that he had “smacked him (the kid) around.”

When the child got away during a diaper change (running for his life maybe?) the man slammed him down.

Eventually, the child seized up from continued whacks to the head so the man, thinking the child had choked stuck a pen in his (the child’s) mouth to pry it open. That didn’t work so the man used a can opener.

The child is in critical condition with life-threatening brain injuries.

The man is being held.

How about we bat the fellow around with a club until he has seizures, then stick a can opener in his mouth and wait to see what happens?

The little boy’s father is in jail and his mother is AWOL. The ‘caregivers’ are cousins of the mother.