Wispid

A convicted pedophile was assigned community service at a German kindergarten.

While doing his service, he was caught abusing two children.

A court order missed three prior pedophilia convictions on his record and consequently assigned him to work as a janitor at the Evangelical Kindergarten St Petri.

The person making the community assignment didn’t read the file.

The man was caught fondling himself in front of children.

That worker…does s/he have kids? Maybe she can assign this guy to tutor her kids.

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Hikers in NH drop trousers to moon passengers on the Mt. Washington cog railway.

It’s a tradition.

Undercover police officers started to ride the cog and when hikers showed what was undercover, the cops stopped the train in a crackdown on the Appalachian Trail hikers showing their crack.

“What was your assignment today, honey?”

“Riding the cog, cracking down on mooners.”

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This is almost corpse abuse…if there were a corpse.

Thieves stole 102 buried urns from a cemetery in Indianapolis, presumably to sell the metal.

Scrap yards have been warned that someone might show up to try and sell the urns.

What’s worse than stealing candy from a baby?

How about stealing the coffee can a guy’s ashes were planning to spend eternity in?

Source

A condo owner in Panama City, Fl threatened a tenant with the release of a sex tape if she didn’t pay her rent.

The owner told the tenant that she had hidden cameras in the condo and that she would release them on the Internet and sell them with her SSN if she didn’t pay up pronto.

The victim called police.

The tape was blank and a sex video had never been made.

And the owner did not get her back rent.

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Some dude robbed an ice cream parlor with a stapler.

He got off with $175.

All was well, accept the guy did not have a getaway planned.

He ran into a Ponderosa steakhouse, changed clothes, then into a house..where he was surrounded by police.

After 45 minutes of negotiations, he came out.

The police found the stapler, a ski mask, the money and evidence of an earlier heist at a Wendy’s where he also used the stapler.

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The International House of Prayer might have something to do with a pretty (my taste, of course) 28-year old art teacher’s death.

Usually it’s overeating at the International House of Pancakes that does it.

But, in this case, it may be undereating.

The teacher had been on a two week fast.

According to an investigation, the preacher at the IHOP told the young lady that a prophecy had revealed she would marry his son but only after a two week fast.

She died at the end of the fast.

I wonder if the prophecy told the preacher that would happen.

Source

Female college students are sucking on teats instead of drinking water from cups in China…because its convenient.

That’s NOT why the guys do it. Trust me.

Some 40% of the girls on the campus at Hainan Normal University are using baby bottles to drink from instead of cups.

Time to change the college name to Hainan Abnormal University it seems.

Teachers and educators are worried.

Really now?

(From Nanguo Met News)

The taxi whisperer…a distant relative of the horse whisperer…was giving passengers the creeps.

In China a woman passenger started getting freaked out when she heard voices in the back of the car.

The driver stopped to look around when he finally found a drunk in the truck mumbling to himself and …who did NOT know how he had gotten there.

Police let him go after he sobered up.

A man was busted for drinking two cans of hair spray for the alcohol in it at a Wal-Mart.

The hairspray cost $1.92 and the man had $15 in his pocket.

The hard-core alcoholic said, “The temptation was too great” to NOT drink the hairspray, which he had done on several occasions before.

The man was under surveillance. He had previously done the same thing.

He came in to fill a prescription. While waiting he would take a bottle of hairspray to the garden center and chug it down. Then, rinse and repeat.

Anybody thirsty?

Let’s head to Wal-Mart.