Wispid

A convicted pedophile was assigned community service at a German kindergarten.

While doing his service, he was caught abusing two children.

A court order missed three prior pedophilia convictions on his record and consequently assigned him to work as a janitor at the Evangelical Kindergarten St Petri.

The person making the community assignment didn’t read the file.

The man was caught fondling himself in front of children.

That worker…does s/he have kids? Maybe she can assign this guy to tutor her kids.

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Hikers in NH drop trousers to moon passengers on the Mt. Washington cog railway.

It’s a tradition.

Undercover police officers started to ride the cog and when hikers showed what was undercover, the cops stopped the train in a crackdown on the Appalachian Trail hikers showing their crack.

“What was your assignment today, honey?”

“Riding the cog, cracking down on mooners.”

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This is almost corpse abuse…if there were a corpse.

Thieves stole 102 buried urns from a cemetery in Indianapolis, presumably to sell the metal.

Scrap yards have been warned that someone might show up to try and sell the urns.

What’s worse than stealing candy from a baby?

How about stealing the coffee can a guy’s ashes were planning to spend eternity in?

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Some dude robbed an ice cream parlor with a stapler.

He got off with $175.

All was well, accept the guy did not have a getaway planned.

He ran into a Ponderosa steakhouse, changed clothes, then into a house..where he was surrounded by police.

After 45 minutes of negotiations, he came out.

The police found the stapler, a ski mask, the money and evidence of an earlier heist at a Wendy’s where he also used the stapler.

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The International House of Prayer might have something to do with a pretty (my taste, of course) 28-year old art teacher’s death.

Usually it’s overeating at the International House of Pancakes that does it.

But, in this case, it may be undereating.

The teacher had been on a two week fast.

According to an investigation, the preacher at the IHOP told the young lady that a prophecy had revealed she would marry his son but only after a two week fast.

She died at the end of the fast.

I wonder if the prophecy told the preacher that would happen.

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