Wispid

A judge jailed 46 people in his courtroom because none of them would admit to their cell phone ringing.

While listening to a domestic violence case, the judge ’snapped’ and ‘engaged in what can only be described as two hours of inexplicable madness.’

“Every single person is gong to jail in this courtroom unless I get that instrument now.

“If anybody believes I’m kidding, ask some of the folks that have been here for a while. You are all going.”

When nobody came forward, the judge had all of them taken away.

The real injustice – the judge was removed.

Turn off the *&^*% cell phone!

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A bank robber bought a lottery ticket that won him $1 million.

But, when he went to claim $50,000 of it he was found to have robbed two banks in the past seven years AND to be ineligible to buy lottery tickets = no money for him.

Conditions of his probation included no “gambling, purchasing lottery tickets, or visiting establishment where gaming is conducted….”

Just shows to go you…stealers can’t win.

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SUV sales are up almost 60% in China.

Meaning…it won’t be long before the back side of a Chinese person looks like the backside of their car.

Nor will it be long before the BMW drivers realize they can’t see around the cows on wheels.

Great Wall Motor, Chery Auto, Hyundai Tucson and Dongfeng Honda are the main SUV makers.

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A woman admitted to stuffing her 83-year old mother into two garbage bags, then placing her into a U-Haul and later dumping her along a dirt road.

That’s what you get for taking care of your kids all these years.

A proper eternal resting place.

Gotta love those bags.

The woman said she wanted to keep cashing the monthly retirement checks that were coming her mom’s way.

Detectives found other remains – a hip replacement rod – that belonged to the woman’s mother.

I say we put two plastic bags in a room…one here and one way over there. Then put this daughter in the bags.

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The court granted a divorce to a man who says his wife lied to him about her age.

She said she was 24-years old before they got married.

However, after they got hitched, she ‘fessed up to really being 30-years old.

Doggone Asian girls. Even the locals can’t tell how old they are.

A little slow on the intake, it took the man 10 years to figure out she wasn’t playing straight with him.

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A mother confessed to abandoning her two newborns in a refrigerator.

The 28-year old mom was arrested for putting the body of a newborn baby into the icebox. When police raided the home, they found a second baby dead in the fridge.

That’s bad enough, but.

The dad claims he doesn’t know anything about the incidents.

Yeah, like he wouldn’t wonder what happened to the kids his wife had

“Honey, where are the babies?”

“Uh, what babies?”

“Honey, will you get me a beer from the fridge?”

“Get it yourself.”

“No way! I’m not opening that thing up.”

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A top politician in Japan got his kicks and likely loss a few votes among the conservatives, and picked up a few from, well there are no non-conservatives in Japan.

The DPJ chief mimicked the pose of a a popular cross-dressing makeup artist in Japan – Ikko.

The DPJ won a ‘Trendy’ prize for his part in helping the DPJ to win the House of Councillors election.

Other trend winners –

“White Plan,” a relatively cheap monthly basic rate system for SoftBank Mobile phones,

“Billy’s Boot Camp” won the award in the hobby and leisure category.

McDonald’s “Mega Mac” won the award for the life and health division.

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A white van hit a woman and dragged her for 420 meters, more than 4 football fields, before it could finally speed off.

The woman died, and the driver of the van is probably still looking under his vehicle.

The accident happened at 6:10am…and the cops are asking for help.

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It’s obvious from the pic that this woman wasn’t going to get a date.

I reckon she didn’t want anyone else to get one either.

So…she set fire to two outlets of a rival dating club, killing four customers, all of whom said they would go out for her…or not.

Prosecutors wanted her hanged.

The judge thinks “We cannot say that the degree of her murderous intent was high.”

The 66-year old woman hired several men to throw Molotov cocktails at her rivals.

She has a date now, with the penitentiary for life.

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A police officer suspended for leaking confidential information accidentally through a file-exchange found himself in trouble for being a peeping Tom.

Bored, no work, nothing do, he peeked through some blinds of a woman’s apartment.

A fellow walking by warned him and the cop ran off.

Somebody thought to get his license plate number and he was tracked down and confessed.

Isn’t there something about idleness, and the devil and the devil’s workshop?

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