Wispid

A couple in the Denver area, along with their attorneys are taking legal action against the Ft Collins police because their marijuana plants were dead when they were returned.

Attorneys for the police – “The normal process of confiscating contraband does not require jurisdictions to keep it alive.”

Attorneys for the couple – “by law (police) had to return the plants undamaged.”

The couple says the plants were to help their medical conditions and to assist other medical marijuana patients.

Cops had seized three dozen marijuana plants.

“Well, then. Just give us the money and we’ll go buy some more and call it even.”

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It might not get weirder than this.

A man is charged with having sex with farm animals – cow, pig, monkey, okay not a monkey.

Then he had sex with a boy who was also forced to have sex with the animals.

The boy was also forced to wear his mother’s clothes and do the dirty over and over again.

The man…if guilty should be passed around zoo cages when animals are in heat.

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An 18-year old boy helped another 17-year old boy dispose of the body in order to clear a debt of $100 that he owed.

He didn’t have to kill the guy, just help clean up.

The victim was a sex offender. Now he is a headless, burnt to a crisp dead sex offender.

The two kids are facing first degree premeditated murder and corpse abuse.

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“We are gathered here today to remember your dearly departed friend and how much money his friends had. Look! There’s a five-car pile up.”

While everyone looked, the thief stole about $10K in donations.

The man, who smelled of alcohol, paid his respects to several members of the family, looked in the coffin to see the stiff who’s friends he was going to stiff, then created the diversion.

One member in the audience said, “I remember standing there watching him thinking, ‘This guy’s not right.’”

No, this group is ‘not right’ to let a drunk make off with “a bag full of photos, cash, checks, a toy for the dead guy’s 4-year-old son, cards and a Bible.”

Maybe he’ll find something he is NOT looking for in the Bible.\

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Investigative reporter types found that ice served in bars and at restaurants in the Chicago area had undetermined amount of fecal coliform.

The water in the toilet was cleaner.

The difference for the patron, of course, is that if s/he is sober they can control what goes or does not go into their drink, no?

Or, better yet, stay out of Chicago.

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Some dude in NY kindly donated sperm to a female co-worker. He followed up by sending presents and cards to the kid over the years.

Nice guy.

A judge has ruled that he WILL continue to donate money to her college tuition now.

Nice judge.

The judge will NOT let the child be DNA tested because the results could have a “traumatic effect” upon her.

Um, what about the traumatic effect on the man?

The lawyer for the mom says the man’s interactions with the child over the years had a patriarchal nature.

And the mom says, “…..”

No good deed goes unpunished indeed.

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Yet another teacher, an elementary school one at that, was arrested, then admitted to sticking his digital camera under the skirt of a high school girl at a bookstore.

He then began filming.

Like, and I wonder what he was expecting to see happen under there.

The teacher, 33, was a public elementary school teacher.

Gee, don’t you really want him teaching your kids?

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A 44-year old man in Japan stormed a public high school with a knife and headed for the principal’s office – before being sent there.

He had a knife.

“The school bell was noisy!” he old police.

Male teachers overpowered the guy and kept him under control till the police came.

Now, he REALLY has to go to the principal’s office.

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Researchers at the Center for Addiction and Mental Health in Toronto have concluded that pedophiles have “significantly less of a substance called ‘white matter’, responsible for wiring the different parts of the brain together.”

A Yale Study revealed differences in thought patterns of pedophiles.

Others have thought that pedophilia is triggered by childhood trauma or abuse.

Yet others link it to low IQ.

The researchers in Toronto say “inadequate wiring between the different centers results in pedophiles not being able to differentiate between appropriate and inappropriate sexual objects.”

A University of London, um, expert says, “Environmental factors cause changes in the structure of the brain, so it is not clear whether these differences occur because of environmental factors, or whether these are in fact innate developmental traits that make people susceptible to such traits.”

Translated means, he doesn’t know.

Wires crossed or screws loose. There is no excuse for pedophilia.

No excuse.

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A 48-year old man who got off on wearing little girl’s panties and women’s panty hose was caught discarding them into residential homes after he has worn them.

He was arrested for violating the ‘waste management law’ not for being a pervert.

No mind…he’s off the street for now.

“Wearing the underwear made me aroused. I used to love seeing how annoyed people got when they found the panties I’d discarded in their homes,” he told the police.

When police raided his home, they found 200 pairs of new women’s undergarments, little girl’s panties and panty hose.

The knucklehead discarded the panties and hose usually on his way home after wearing them to work or in the early hours of the next morning.

Yikes!

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