Most people aren’t prepared for Jesus to come back.
For now, however, some just want baby Jesus to come back.
Crooks swiped the baby from a nativity scene in Miami.
Cops are asking “Just return it.”
And if you don’t, the real Jesus may come back just for you.
This guy could be my hero, the star of the drunk and stupid category.
After stealing several blow-up dolls from an adult novelty store, the burglar said, it was a “drunken and stupid thing.”
Amazing how those two words go together.
The 26-year old naughty man smashed through the Naughty Novelties and stole a talking love doll worth $270.
A video camera caught the man’s car sitting outside.
When he was caught, he began to cry. The goods were found in a semi behind a motel.
What!? Not in the motel?
An assistant director of a TV show in Japan was arrested for trying to take photographs up a woman’s skirt while she was on the escalator in Tokyo Subway Station.
The man is not buying the allegations – “I did something that could cause misunderstanding, but I never photographed up her skirt.”
Couldn’t find the button to take the picture?
Looking for better reception?
Doing research for a future documentary, maybe?
At around 10:30pm he stuck his camera phone under the woman’s skirt. The woman noticed it (You would think that a woman would notice such things) and alerted police who arrested him.
“Um, I wonder what that guy is doing with his camera under my skirt. I’m sure it’s a harmless act.”
A 71-year old ex- education boss who is way beyond his years when it comes to this kind of shenanigans was arrested for molesting a female employee at his workplace…regularly.
And why she didn’t report it earlier? Is a mystery.
The old geezer let his hands get away from him only to have a female worker in an elevator find them all over her.
The guy is already under indictment for forcing a woman into an elevator last year and going after her breasts.
So, um, why is he out running around?
Just when I thought parents couldn’t be any more stupid, along comes this 21-year old father who is charged with sexually assaulting then murdering his 8-day old daughter.
“The infant also suffered from bruises on her arms, legs, head and injuries to her genitals before she died,” said the medical examiner.
Uh, where was mom when this was going on?
The little girl’s name was Nevaeh, heaven spelled backward.
She is heaven now.
Her father? Good luck.
The more students drink the more likely they are to have more sex partners.
It can be explained by the drunker you are the less you care about who you sleep with.
A study at the Washington University School of Medicine found alcohol dependence had the biggest influence on the number of sex partners.
More sex partners, the greater the risk of contracting an STD.
The alcohol dependent – 45% had 10 or more sexual partners, but remember just one or two of those partners.
Put a bunch of ugly girls in a room and pretty soon the least ugly will start looking good.
Get drunk, and you don’t care what they look like.
Pick one, pick all of them…American’s believe in all of them to some degree.
82% – believe in God
79% – believe in miracles
70% – believe in heaven and the other 12% wonder where God hangs out.
60% – believe in hell and the devil – the other 40% seriously hope there isn’t either
43% – believe in Darwinism
39% – believe in creationism
18% – have no clue where we came from or where we are going…no clue.
70% – have some sort of religion
33% – believe in UFOs, witches and astrology
They also like to record their misdeeds and put them on Youtube, too.
A sheriff in a neighboring town saw the video on Youtube and called it in Southlake Police where the crime occurred.
Mom says that her boy, one of the perpetrators is usually a ‘good boy.’
Yeah, good boy. And stupid, too, on two accounts. The vandalism and posting the evidence on Youtube.
A judge has ordered that the defendants in a rapist case have their penises photographed by a doctor and presented to the court for evidence.
The 49-year old woman who was raped says one of her two attackers had a foreskin and the other didn’t.
She had time to notice as they sexually assaulted and pistol whipped her?
A coloring book “Being Friends, Being Safe, Being Catholic” is being distributed by the Catholic church in NYC.
One of the images in the book, a guardian angel hovering over an altar boy with a priest lurking in the background.
“For safety’s sake, a child and an adult shouldn’t be alone in a closed room together,” the angel counsels.
“According to the group ‘Bishop Accountability,’ some 3,000 priests out of the 42,000 across the country have since been denounced, some of whom have been investigated and convicted.”
It seems to me that one in 14 people being a sex pervert is above the national average.
US Catholic authorities have paid out $2.8 billion in damages so far.
Where do you worship on Sunday?
