Wispid

That’s not my penis, it’s a carrot. Ha ha ha!

The court didn’t think it was funny. Nor did the pupils of this nutcase driving instructor.

He thought it would be a funny practical joke to have a 12-inch carrot in his trousers and let his students rub it after it turned hard when they executed maneuvers just right.

The man, “I admit it was unprofessional, stupid, and I regret doing it.

“I just thought maybe I would play a practical joke, but obviously it was stupid.”

No, it’s sexpid, stupid, not stupid.

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A group of kids stopped by the youth minister’s house to see his gun.

No, a real gun.

It was a sawed-off shotgun.

Another teen getting a close look shot another 15-year old in the face who was also getting a close look we presume.

The girl died.

The youth minister who owned the gun, charged with endangering the welfare of children, corruption of minors and having a prohibited offensive weapon.

“Well, since God doesn’t say anything about guns in the Bible….”

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Naked Twister has been banned on Cedar Ridge Drive where some 100 people gather for swinger parties.

And, to think, I was planning to go next weekend…which may have something to do with why it was banned.

If I showed up naked…

The participants of the party – “We’re all frustrated.”

Is that because there is no party or the reason for the party we wonder?

Neighbors are tired of the noise, traffic, parking problems and having nothing worth seeing or having seen it all.

The prudes have a lawyer on their side – “It seems to me when you have that number of people involved, it becomes more like a public event,” he said. “It seems unlikely that a court would find privacy protection for an event this large.”

In that case, just this time, I am for the naked twister parties.

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Some dude wearing a Spiderman mask stabbed a 42-year old fellow outside a church in Tokyo.

Considering just how few the number of churches there are in Japan, maybe Spidey was in getting forgiveness before his misdeed.

The victim was saw Spiderman brandishing a kitchen knife when he (the victim) entered a public restroom. However, when he ran out (I’d run out too of Spiderman followed me into a bathroom), Spidey chased him, stabbed him in the back and fled.

And, we wonder know more why Spiderman often gets a bad rap.

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Japan’s National Police Agency caught 594 people driving drunk in one night. 15 were hauled off to jail.

That’s good news, however.

Last year a similar effort was made and 690 people were given DUIs.

“Even though penalties for drunken driving became harsher when changes to the Road Traffic Law came into effect in September, there are still too many people driving while drunk,” an NPA spokesman said. “We want to take even stronger measures against this.”

Next year, 400, then 210, then 20…

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“It’s okay, we’re on our way to the hospital. You’ll be okay!”

“NOO!! Please don’t take me to the hospital!!”

A male nurse in Japan kicked the head of a 57-year old patient, ‘inflicting bodily image resulting in death.’

“I assaulted the patient because he was disobedient,” he was quoted as telling investigators.

Now that’s surprising. Don’t most psychiatric patients fall right into line and do what they are told?

I guess we don’t want this guy looking after our senile parents, do we? Or us for that matter.

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Sri Lanka had a first…a naked cricketer? Nope, a streaker.

The guy zipped across the field and out of the stadium but was later caught by police.

Uh…clothes, knucklehead.

Put clothes somewhere outside where you plan to escape so you can hide.

Well, it was his first time. Maybe we can cut him some slack, no?

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