Wispid

“My dad is always telling me off and he bashes me about once a month. Dad’s always playing pachinko and I thought it was unfair that it’s always me who’s getting told off,” the boy told the police.

So…early in the morning he took to his father’s head with a metal baseball bat, bruising his father and breaking his fingers.

Thinking he had killed his father he ran off to a local convenient stores.

7-11, open even after failed murder attempts.

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A mom thinks the church where her boy attended committed some sort of crime when her son wore a diaper, a bonnet, sat on a girl’s lap and drank soda from a bottle.

Police didn’t think so.

The crime might, however, be that the church youth group would think this is fun and that there is a connection to Jesus there somewhere.

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“Whatcha got under their missy?”

A 43-year old male teacher lost his job, quit after he was punished for harassing an 18-year old schoolgirl.

He lifted up her skirt to check to see if she was wearing shorts underneath.

“I’d heard that many students were wearing shorts under their skirts and I wanted to check for myself,” the teacher said.

He did it twice to make double sure they had shorts underneath.

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A nun at a Catholic school gathered her fifth- thru eighth-graders together and read them a list of cuss words that they should NOT ever use again.

I’d like to share the list here, but I am not allowed.

Kind of reminds me of the preacher who visited the local smut shop so he could tell the congregation on Sunday what they were NOT supposed to be looking at.

Or the reporter doing pedophile research maybe?

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The man made arrangements with his wife to meet his teenage daughter for the first time.

Seems he wanted to know his little girl, in the Biblical sense, too.

He attacked her while she was sleeping.

She cried until he climbed off and another family member caught him in the act from a distance.

Sure enough, he tried to lie himself out of it, claim there was no sexual contact, then blame it on her.

Incest and sexual assault charges followed.

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“Even though it was a sick act of pleasure for him, it hurt me very badly,” the rape victim said in a letter read aloud by an advocate. “Only I would know the great pain of biting my tongue while being raped, still unable to open my mouth after the stroke.”

The 40-year old rapist was sent to jail for 8.5 years.

The victim was a 33-year old mother of four who suffered a stroke and was left paralyzed and unable to speak.

She used head movements and a letter board to spell words to explain that the rapist REPEATEDLY forced himself on her.

The man was hired and worked as a nursing assistant for 13 years despite a domestic violence conviction, two rape investigations and three sexual misconduct claims by patients.

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It had a sour taste and was rubbery he said. It might have been used.

Three bites into his Burger King Southwestern Whopper and the man headed for the john to vomit.

The man’s lawyer says BK was “negligent and liable for selling the man the hamburger that has caused him ’sustained pain and suffering, vomiting, nightmares, mental and emotional distress’ and medical expenses.”

The man has tested himself several time for AIDS and now has recurrent dreams about finding condoms or hamburgers in the things he is doing.

BK sent him a letter saying, “Hope you come back and have a more pleasurable experience.”

To be sure a condom IN a hamburger won’t do the trip. A condom and a ???? maybe?

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