Wispid

A woman was sent to jail for being gang raped, lying about being gang raped.

Turns out she met a guy online, hung out with him and came home too late for her husband.

Instead of telling him the truth, she made up a story about being gang raped.

She has 20 days in the pokey to see if she can get her story right the next time or make up her mind she doesn’t want to get in such a predicament in the first place.

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Guess she wanted to keep her methamphetamine safe, collect interest and all that.

An 18-year old woman, I think 18-year olds are still kids but, mistakenly put a bag of methamphetamine into a local ATM for deposit into her bank account.

The bag of meth showed up 4 hours later in a deposit envelope.

The woman was contacted by police and ‘fessed up to her mistake.

She was arrested and charged, a felony.

“Uh, nope, that’s not my meth. Somebody must have deposited it by mistake, officer.”

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She had bleeding in the brain from a cerebral hemorrhage.

Her airway tube was removed.

For 2.5 days, they held her hand, said prayers and good-byes.

The funeral home of choice was called and doctors gave her about 20 minutes to live.

A prayer service and the grieving process were begun.

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A real knucklehead showed up for his court hearing facing drunk-driving charges drunk.

What in the world!

His blood alcohol level was 0.32 at the courthouse. The state level for intoxication – 0.08.

The guy had been arrested once before but his $1,915 check bounced. It took the courts five years to round him again.

In court and drunk, he had to be let go because jail guards refused to accept him when paramedics said there might be a danger of alcohol poisoning.

Is there something with this picture? More than one thing wrong with it?

Some of the best lessons I have learned in life come from people I never met.

I would like to share some of the ‘words of wisdom’ that I have picked up over the years.

Dwight Eisenhower said: 

An intellectual is a man who takes more words than necessary to tell more than he knows.

(There are far too many of these types in academics today.)

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Some of the best lessons I have learned in life come from people I never met.

I would like to share some of the ‘words of wisdom’ that I have picked up over the years.

Booker T. Washington said: 

You can’t hold a man down without staying down with him.

(When you throw mud at each other, both get dirty.)

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Some of the best lessons I have learned in life come from people I never met.

I would like to share some of the ‘words of wisdom’ that I have picked up over the years.

John Wooden said: 

Ability may get your to the top, but it takes character to keep you there.

(Staying number one is much more difficult than becoming number one.) 

Do not let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do.

(I must do what I can.)

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Some of the best lessons I have learned in life come from people I never met.

I would like to share some of the ‘words of wisdom’ that I have picked up over the years.

Dale Carnegie said: 

The man who goes farthest is generally the one who is willing to do and dare. The sure-thing boat never gets far from the shore.

(I must not be afraid to try. The surest way to not accomplish something is to be not give it an attempt.)

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Drunk as a skunk, a 46-year old mother went to buy some more booze.

On the way home, she was pulled over for running a red light and barely missing other vehicles.

Not to worry, however. The woman had belted in her 24-pack of Busch beer in the passenger side of her car.

Her 16-month old toddler, however, was sitting in the back street unrestrained with her 20-year old mother.

The driver is sitting in jail waiting for someone to post $31,000 in bail.

Shouldn’t they lock the mom up, too?

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Some of the best lessons I have learned in life come from people I never met.

I would like to share some of the ‘words of wisdom’ that I have picked up over the years.

Charles de Gaulle said: 

How can one conceive of a one-party system in a country that has over two hundred varieties of cheese?

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There are places to get a tan and places not to.

The beach? Okay.

The back yard? Okay

Tanning salons? Uh, maybe.

Room number three at a tanning salon in Deep Creek has a rather large space under the door, big enough that mirrors can be slid under.

Sure enough, a woman who had been using the place for years was surprised after a change in ownership and the new dude in charge peeped under the door with a mirror as she talked nude on the cell phone to her mother.

$250 fine. $97 in court costs. 90 days in jail, suspended for 75 days.

I wonder if he thinks it was worth it?

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Some of the best lessons I have learned in life come from people I never met.

I would like to share some of the ‘words of wisdom’ that I have picked up over the years.

Albert Einstein said: 

In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.

(there is always another way.) 

When I examine myself and my methods of thought, I come to the conclusion that the gift of fantasy has meant more to me than my talent for absorbing positive knowledge.

(fantasy…thinking outside the box…imagination…are what is most important.)

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