A Chinese man got so drunk he couldn’t find the toilet.
He mistook a window for the door to the head, stepped in and down five floors.
His roommate found him sprawled out on the pavement, and called rescue workers.
He, um, escaped with just breaking his legs.
What is it, do people become more flexible, softer, splishier when they are drunk?
And, I thought drunks, sex perverts, the greedy and lawyers were the stupidest people to be found.
There’s another breed – the cellpid – that have come to mind, sorta. They have always been there, but now it’s time to tell their stories.
Question: if you see someone on a cell phone behind the wheel of a car, what’s the first thing that should come to your mind?
Answer: Who’s driving the car?
People on cell phones cannot drive cars and talk. There are warnings on cigarette packs. There should be warnings on cell phones:
“Warning: talking on the cell phone and attempting to drive a car at the same time is hazardous to everyone within a 100 yard radius of you.”
I have a few stories to tell, and I am sure the number will grow over the days, weeks and months ahead.
Yeah….and if you have a story to tell. Why not share?
What are you learning NOT to do? And, who’s doing it?
Thomas Beatle – absolutely assured of confusing the daylights out of the daughter that will be born in about 3 months.
Thomas is a transgender man in Oregon who got pregnant by artificial insemination.
Thomas has a wife, Nancy.
Thomas is 6-months along in the pregnancy. Apparently when Thomas had the operation 10 years ago to become a man, he/it decided to keep a few parts, like the womb, intact that was needed to carry a baby.
“Wanting to have a biological child is neither a male nor a female desire but a human desire.”
Yeah, right.
Seriously, what will the kid say to her friends?
Dad’s my mom. My mom’s my dad. My mom is my mom and my mom is my dad. My dad is my mom and so is my mom.
Well, it’s not just the straight dudes who are stupid.
Gay people are stupid, too.
San Francisco’s city planner (male) has a boyfriend. The two got into a lover’s spat and the BF, a New Age chiropractor, decided to toss tomatoes at the home they were staying in and set the bed on fire. Mayor Gavin Newsom allowed them to stay in the home – the city’s historic fire chief’s house.
Some $400 in damage was caused and the bf ended up in the slammer.
$50K+ paid for the damages and a trip to rehab will let the 47-year old jilted lover out so he can get in trouble again.
Oh yeah. When he set the bed on fire and did the tomato thing, he was, of course, drunk.
Three students attending the University of Wisconsin woke up dead last night.
They were 23-, 21- and 20-years old. Two young ladies and one fellow.
The smoke detectors were working. The alarms went off.
The students just didn’t seem to wake up when the place caught fire.
Nobody knows why, but there was a bottle of alcohol with the top off nearby.
I have a sibling who died in a fire because she was too drunk to walk three steps out the sliding door.
Yeah, I can see a connection between the alcohol and the students not fleeing to safety.
A very sad connection, indeed.
I have a 22-year old attending college now. I do not want to receive a phone call with news of this sort.
A technician at a television station in French Polynesian that I am convinced is related to my Comcast guy found himself in trouble for getting his connections crossed up.
Some 20 minutes after a religious program was aired, viewers found themselves watching about three minutes of porn, 52 seconds explicit.
“Quick, get the stop watch so we can see how long this lasts.”
About a dozen angry viewers called in to let the station know.
“Wait! Don’t call just yet. I think they are giving us an example of what the preacher in the previous program was telling us to avoid.
