Wispid

The first thing I wanted to do when I got in this 2008 Volvo 2 Door Hatchback C30 was roll it down a hill, turn it into a paper wad, um, metal wad, make it look like mashed potatoes and see if I could live through it.

The first time I ever saw a Volvo up close was when I spent a year one winter in Buffalo, NY. That Volvo wagon was completely mangled. There was a sign next to it – “The Driver Walked Away from this Crash without a Scratch.”

Here in sunny Northern CA. My friend rolled his Volvo. It just made him dizzy. The car was shot, but my friend is still alive.

Safe indeed. So safe, the Rollover Protection System (ROPS) kept righting me whenever I tried to do wrong. The extra high strength strength hydro frame meant safe AND heavy. Parked parallel to the curb on a 20 degree incline in San Francisco (45 degree?) and my petite wife couldn’t open the door facing up the hill because it was too heavy, and down the hill for fear the door would smack its neighbor and start the dominos tumbling down the incline.

I like safe. Especially since my wife and I have a new peanut to care for. M&M. That’s her name. Mia Mei traveled with me from time to time so I could get feedback from her, too. “Ouch! Waa!” were her comments. I had to deliver her over to my wife through the hatchback and over the back seats in order to get her in the baby car seat. Each time I carelessly bounced her head off the head protection system. The car needs something to protect the child from her dad. To its credit, the hatchback is not a family car. Still, the SUV-sized baby stroller fit without problem behind the back seat under the hatch. If I want to take the baby, I can.

I am not a little boy. Six feet plus and on the wrong side of 200lbs. Okay, wrong side of 210. But, when I grabbed the steering wheel, I couldn’t get my hands around it. My hands are bigger than my classical piano son’s hand. They can reach 11 keys, but not around the steering wheel. Good looking grip to be sure. But, on cold mornings, it’s cold. On hot afternoons, it’s hot.

Speed. I am used to stepping on the gas and having the car respond by saying, “You talking to me? You want to make a reservation to go faster?” This 2.5-liter, 5-cylinder all aluminum engine had no problems taking orders. A spiffy looking red car came up on my rear (my wife said it looked like someone sat on it) and tried to pass me on my right side. Closest call I had all week. A half second later and he was far enough in my rear view mirror that I didn’t have to worry about objects being closer than they appear. The car has plenty of get up and go.

The front seats have weight sensor for multistage airbags. Mac users will be happy to know that their desktops, you know the kind that look like ET with a flat-screen for a face, are heavy enough to be protected in the unfortunate event of an accident. The MAC I was taking home to my wife set off the seat belt alarm. Speaking of seat belts, rock climbers most certainly would like to know the technology that went into the quick acting seatbelts so as to employ in in their Grigris (a self belaying device that rock climbers use when they climb alone).

A trunk is not necessary. The glove box is deep enough to hold a snowboard. I think you might be able to reach the oil dipstick through it. My wife thought the baby might be able to lay down in it.

The sticker price on the car I drove is $28,605 (destination charges not included). EPA guestimates are 19 in the city and 27 on the highway.

The estimated fuel costs for a 15,000-mile year are $2,048 at, (this part almost made me roll over laughing and take the car with me thus fulfilling my initial wish) $2.80/gallon. I remember when gasoline was 28 cents/gallon. Now we are remembering when it was ten times that much.

The first friend I showed the car to said, “It doesn’t look like a Volvo.” Its sharp, snazzy, sporty, good looking. If the car makes the man, I don’t mind this car making my statement.

A 38-year old male teacher has been arrested for sexually assaulting a 11-year old school girl in Japan. He took the little girl out for a drive and then stopped at a hotel where he did his dirty.

Don’t parents teach their children not to take rides any more?  But, he was her teacher.

The lowest of lows perhaps. The teacher has admitted to the allegation and apologized.

Now, we feel better, don’t we?

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Drunken Fans to be Stripped Naked, Given Ice-cold Showers and Put in Sobering Houses. It sounds reasonable to me.

If soccer fans get drunk and unruly, Russian authorities say they will be herded into mobile cages, stripped naked, given ice-cold showers and if that doesn’t work, chained to their beds for the night.

What’s worse, being drunk or being drunk and not being able to take a leak?

Two English teams, Manchester United and Chelsea, flew to Moscow for a match. Drunken fans were going to be no match for Moscow police…7,000 of them, supported by helicopters and dogs.

Sick ‘em.

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Car vs. bicycle. Bicycle loses. Car vs. pack of bicycle. Pack loses. Two were killed, 14 are injured and two more remain in critical condition.

The driver, drunk and on drugs bulldozed his car into a bicycle race.

The cyclists were right. Sadly, some of them were now dead right.

The driver should be stood in the middle of the road and let a pack of rampaging buffalos have a shot…or maybe not.

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There was a movie, Don’t Throw Mama from the Train.

I didn’t see it, don’t want to see it. I don’t want to see the real life drama of a Hong Kong woman throwing her newborn out of the window of their apartment either. Still, a 31-year old woman (she’s definitely not a mother) was arrested on suspicion of tossing her brand spanking new baby from her apartment in Hong Kong.

The baby was lying on the ground outside the apartment…dead.

The woman has been charged with infanticide. Perhaps she should have been arrested after someone threw her out the window.

A post-mortem investigation is underway to determine the cause of death.

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I am not an animal activist. I am not an activist of any kind for that matter.

However, Ex 23 says “You are not boil a kid in the milk of its mother.”

I may be wrong but it seems to me that there ought to be some sympathy extended even to the animal kingdom.

There is a dish that I ate often in Japan that reminded me of this passage – oyakodon. Oya = parent. Ko = kid. It was the parent and child together in a dish. Chicken and egg on rice. I wonder now if I should have passed on this dish. Instead, I am getting hungry now.