Wispid

An American pervert was sentenced to 4,060 years in jail after he was found guilty of abusing three teenage girls over nearly two years.

He will be eligible for parole in 3209.

The guy’s antics became known when he bragged to a friend who then called Child Protective Services.

Everybody needs a lawyer, I reckon. This guy’s lawyer argued that the victims were incapable of understanding what happened.   "If it was as traumatic as they (the girls) indicate, they would be able to give you (specific dates and times of the incidents). Simply because it’s shocking doesn’t make it true."

I say we lock up the lawyer with the pervert.

What say you?

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A Chinese knucklehead (I wonder how you say that in Chinese) won the opportunity to have lunch with Warren Buffett by bidding $2.3 million in a charity raffle.

And that’s called winning a lottery when he has to pony up $2.1 million because of why?

Zhao Danyang of the Hong Kong-based Pureheart China Growth Investment Fund had lunch with Buffett at Dairy Queen.

The $2.1 million went to the Glide Foundation in San Francisco.

Homeless people in SF will soon have some better digs.

And to think for a little bit more, he could have had a $2.3 Million Space Wedding.

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The first thing I wanted to do when I got in this 2008 Volvo 2 Door Hatchback C30 was roll it down a hill, turn it into a paper wad, um, metal wad, make it look like mashed potatoes and see if I could live through it.

The first time I ever saw a Volvo up close was when I spent a year one winter in Buffalo, NY. That Volvo wagon was completely mangled. There was a sign next to it – “The Driver Walked Away from this Crash without a Scratch.”

Here in sunny Northern CA. My friend rolled his Volvo. It just made him dizzy. The car was shot, but my friend is still alive.

Safe indeed. So safe, the Rollover Protection System (ROPS) kept righting me whenever I tried to do wrong. The extra high strength strength hydro frame meant safe AND heavy. Parked parallel to the curb on a 20 degree incline in San Francisco (45 degree?) and my petite wife couldn’t open the door facing up the hill because it was too heavy, and down the hill for fear the door would smack its neighbor and start the dominos tumbling down the incline.

I like safe. Especially since my wife and I have a new peanut to care for. M&M. That’s her name. Mia Mei traveled with me from time to time so I could get feedback from her, too. “Ouch! Waa!” were her comments. I had to deliver her over to my wife through the hatchback and over the back seats in order to get her in the baby car seat. Each time I carelessly bounced her head off the head protection system. The car needs something to protect the child from her dad. To its credit, the hatchback is not a family car. Still, the SUV-sized baby stroller fit without problem behind the back seat under the hatch. If I want to take the baby, I can.

I am not a little boy. Six feet plus and on the wrong side of 200lbs. Okay, wrong side of 210. But, when I grabbed the steering wheel, I couldn’t get my hands around it. My hands are bigger than my classical piano son’s hand. They can reach 11 keys, but not around the steering wheel. Good looking grip to be sure. But, on cold mornings, it’s cold. On hot afternoons, it’s hot.

Speed. I am used to stepping on the gas and having the car respond by saying, “You talking to me? You want to make a reservation to go faster?” This 2.5-liter, 5-cylinder all aluminum engine had no problems taking orders. A spiffy looking red car came up on my rear (my wife said it looked like someone sat on it) and tried to pass me on my right side. Closest call I had all week. A half second later and he was far enough in my rear view mirror that I didn’t have to worry about objects being closer than they appear. The car has plenty of get up and go.

The front seats have weight sensor for multistage airbags. Mac users will be happy to know that their desktops, you know the kind that look like ET with a flat-screen for a face, are heavy enough to be protected in the unfortunate event of an accident. The MAC I was taking home to my wife set off the seat belt alarm. Speaking of seat belts, rock climbers most certainly would like to know the technology that went into the quick acting seatbelts so as to employ in in their Grigris (a self belaying device that rock climbers use when they climb alone).

A trunk is not necessary. The glove box is deep enough to hold a snowboard. I think you might be able to reach the oil dipstick through it. My wife thought the baby might be able to lay down in it.

The sticker price on the car I drove is $28,605 (destination charges not included). EPA guestimates are 19 in the city and 27 on the highway.

The estimated fuel costs for a 15,000-mile year are $2,048 at, (this part almost made me roll over laughing and take the car with me thus fulfilling my initial wish) $2.80/gallon. I remember when gasoline was 28 cents/gallon. Now we are remembering when it was ten times that much.

The first friend I showed the car to said, “It doesn’t look like a Volvo.” Its sharp, snazzy, sporty, good looking. If the car makes the man, I don’t mind this car making my statement.

A 38-year old male teacher has been arrested for sexually assaulting a 11-year old school girl in Japan. He took the little girl out for a drive and then stopped at a hotel where he did his dirty.

Don’t parents teach their children not to take rides any more?  But, he was her teacher.

The lowest of lows perhaps. The teacher has admitted to the allegation and apologized.

Now, we feel better, don’t we?

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Drunken Fans to be Stripped Naked, Given Ice-cold Showers and Put in Sobering Houses. It sounds reasonable to me.

If soccer fans get drunk and unruly, Russian authorities say they will be herded into mobile cages, stripped naked, given ice-cold showers and if that doesn’t work, chained to their beds for the night.

What’s worse, being drunk or being drunk and not being able to take a leak?

Two English teams, Manchester United and Chelsea, flew to Moscow for a match. Drunken fans were going to be no match for Moscow police…7,000 of them, supported by helicopters and dogs.

Sick ‘em.

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Car vs. bicycle. Bicycle loses. Car vs. pack of bicycle. Pack loses. Two were killed, 14 are injured and two more remain in critical condition.

The driver, drunk and on drugs bulldozed his car into a bicycle race.

The cyclists were right. Sadly, some of them were now dead right.

The driver should be stood in the middle of the road and let a pack of rampaging buffalos have a shot…or maybe not.

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There was a movie, Don’t Throw Mama from the Train.

I didn’t see it, don’t want to see it. I don’t want to see the real life drama of a Hong Kong woman throwing her newborn out of the window of their apartment either. Still, a 31-year old woman (she’s definitely not a mother) was arrested on suspicion of tossing her brand spanking new baby from her apartment in Hong Kong.

The baby was lying on the ground outside the apartment…dead.

The woman has been charged with infanticide. Perhaps she should have been arrested after someone threw her out the window.

A post-mortem investigation is underway to determine the cause of death.

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I am not an animal activist. I am not an activist of any kind for that matter.

However, Ex 23 says “You are not boil a kid in the milk of its mother.”

I may be wrong but it seems to me that there ought to be some sympathy extended even to the animal kingdom.

There is a dish that I ate often in Japan that reminded me of this passage – oyakodon. Oya = parent. Ko = kid. It was the parent and child together in a dish. Chicken and egg on rice. I wonder now if I should have passed on this dish. Instead, I am getting hungry now.

My student told the class this story a day or so ago.

I was tagging on with my partner one day, out patrolling and we came across a person driving very recklessly. Talking on her cell phone, speeding 20mph over, switching lanes with no blinker and passing on the right. So we stopped her. We go up to the car and do the normal license, registration and proof of insurance thing and she is still on her cell phone. She held up her finger and said hold on. Like really? Anyways after about 15 seconds I said “Ma’am please put down the phone and give me your license, registration and proof of insurance.” She took her phone away from her ear and started yelling “Can’t you see I’m on the phone?” (keep in mind she was very calm and just having a regular conversation because I overheard her say she made pot roast for dinner and ran out to get cigarettes) So I go to pull out my pad and click my pen and she all of sudden hangs up and says “Is something wrong officer?”

Thanks to Joey Swaney for permission to repost this.

I’m walking behind this woman who is pushing a baby buggy very purposefully. I notice these things more because we have a new baby and I am often pushing my little one around…while I can. Give the little tike a couple of years and I’m sure she’ll start pushing her old man, very old man around.

The woman in front of me was heading for an intersection. She was on the sidewalk but the light was clearly red and there were cars coming from the right and left. Not to be deterred from her mission in life at the moment, she pushed the baby buggy into the street, the car came to a halt sparing the baby and the woman walked on oblivious to what was going on around her.

She made a right turn after reaching the opposite sidewalk and it was then I learned her ‘mission.’

The knuckleheaded woman was on a cell phone. She never broke stride, nearly killed her infant, and didn’t even know it. Still doesn’t.

When it rains it pours, I guess.

The things that have been falling out of the sky in China lately…

1. Cats – yup, the cats are falling, the cats are falling. We can use this battle cry the next time someone wants to fight the fictitious man-cause global warming.

2. Gas tanks – placed by men under the influence of ET, of course. Not just any gas tank.

3. Water bottles – A thief wanting to steal bottles of mineral water tossed them out the window of a storehouse in Harbin. Had it been winter, they would have been bottles of ice.

4. Drunks – Yup, the thief, drunk as skunk followed the bottles of water out the window. He jumped, got stuck head first in the bottles and stayed there asleep until security came.

Have you looked up lately when walking outside?

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Here’s yet another reason why people don’t go to church.

A Catholic Priest was caught having sex with female inmates, two of them, while working as a chaplain at a women’s prison.

So much for vows of chastity, eh?

He’s in jail now, for up to 10 years, but more like 10-16 months.

One of the inmates became involved with the priest after joining the choir and Bible study classes.

The other was working as a clerk for the prison’s religious services department.

This priest apparently didn’t even mess around with lust. He just headed straight for the fornication, and the betrayal of trust and….

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