Wispid

A pervert who says he is sexually attracted to expensive and classic cars, relieved himself of his sexual frustrations while sitting on top of a $50,000 BMW at a Home and Garden Show.

The knucklehead says it is the fault of the owners of 1967 Camaros and 1955 Chevy Bel Airs because they buy the cars that tempt him to ‘pleasure’ himself.

Boy, am I  glad he doesn’t like CR-Vs.

The guy also gets off on motorcycles and girls with big feet.

What about Big Foot, the Giant 4-wheeler?

I wonder what he does when he sees that.

On second thought, I don’t wonder, don’t want to know.

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Number four of six

Found at Inventorspot

A 76-year old fart shot a 58-year old man at a bus stop in Vienna. He then severed his penis and laid it beside the dead guy before fleeing.

He believed that the victim was having an affair with his wife.

When the cops caught him he explained that he was relieved “because he had rescued his honor.”

It apparently took the old geezer 20 years to muster up enough courage to do the rescuing….

I guess, even old guys love their wives…or their honor.

Some of the best lessons I have learned in life come from people I never met.

I would like to share some of the ‘words of wisdom’ that I have picked up over the years.

Confucius said: 

Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life.

(Are you working or loving life everyday?)

The expectations of life depend upon diligence; the mechanic that would perfect his work must first sharpen his tools.

(How do you sharpen the tools of your trade?) 

Acquire new knowledge whilst thinking over the old, and you may become a teacher of others.

(I hope I never think I know enough.) 

What’s your favorite quote? and why?

from Words of Wisdom Series – Confucius

Some dude in NY kindly donated sperm to a female co-worker. He followed up by sending presents and cards to the kid over the years.

Nice guy.

A judge has ruled that he WILL continue to donate money to her college tuition now.

Nice judge.

The judge will NOT let the child be DNA tested because the results could have a “traumatic effect” upon her.

Um, what about the traumatic effect on the man?

The lawyer for the mom says the man’s interactions with the child over the years had a patriarchal nature.

And the mom says, “…..”

No good deed goes unpunished indeed.

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A 51-year old teacher is going to jail for a conviction of using his computer to access child pornography…243 images and eight video clips somehow, mysteriously got onto his computer.

Italian police tipped off British police who made the bust.

The Catholic High School teacher has been suspended.

He taught biology and was the head of grade eight at the school.

“I am not going to destroy all of that by doing that sort of thing,” he told the court.

Nope…the judge will see that he throws it away instead.

It was about 4:30pm as the woman walked home from the train station.

Suddenly, from behind a man came up lifted up her dress, pulled down and off her panties, grabbed her bag and ran away.

No attempt was made to sexually assault the woman who didn’t realize her bag was stolen till sometime later.

Great technique on the thief’s part…if thieves can be complimented at all.

Create a diversion, then make off with the goods.

Am I the only person who is thinking….what in the world?

And I wonder…how were these things sewed together and then what?

At the Beijing Fashion Show

July 11, Wisdumb – Cop Impersonator Pulls Over  Another Cop

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A female substitute teacher on her first day at an elementary school took all her clothes off from the waist down in front of a class of 4th graders.

She stood there half nude.

One of the students told a teacher in the next room.

A school official – “We’ve never had this happen before.”

Really now.

The woman who had been on an approved list to teach was taken off the substitute list.

Really now.

The woman seems to have been on something.

Really now.

source

The little girl’s stepfather lost his temper and beat her to death because she wouldn’t say ‘Please’ and ‘Yes, sir.’

The poor excuse for a father with or without a step didn’t believe his 19-year old wife was doing enough disciplining of the little girl.

“You need to use the belt, dammit!’

So, he beat her until she was dead.

There’s more good news.

The little girl, the 19-year old mom that is, is pregnant.

The two parents are in jail with bail set at $350k each.

Bail is too low.

Still don’t believe in the death penalty?

source

An unemployed man in Japan admitted that he put obscene images – a man and a woman doing the dirty – on his mobile phone site….they have those in Japan.

He said, “I wanted to increase my income by raising my site’s page views.”

Hmmm….

The man earned 100,000 yen ($900ish) a month in ad revenue from the site.

HHHMmmm…..

He is the first person to be arrested for placing obscene video images on a mobile phone site say investigators.

No doubt…men AND women want to see sex videos.

Married Couple’s Sex Video Posted on Web Site Worth 200 Million

With Jewish high holidays here, two lifetime front-row seats to services at a synagogue in Miami Beach, FL are being auctioned on eBay…starting at $1.8 million.

1. Schmoozing with the rabbi…

2. Family named engraved on Seats 1 and 2 of Row 1 Section DD at Temple Emanu-El

3. Free parking

4. Two custom-made prayer shawls and yarmulkes

5. A big tax write-off

6. The right to pass the seats on to the kids

The rabbi in charge, with a little help from two congregants who work in marketing and advertising say, “It has very little to do with the money.”

Meaning, it has something to do with the money but….

The idea, says the Rabbi, was to gain attention of the Jews who are disconnected from their faith.

Has he considered they are disconnected because of schemes such as this?

The Jews don’t have to worry about the New Testament “..if you show partiality (favoring the rich over the poor), you are committing sin….”

James 2:1-9