Sex with the sidewalk

An 18-year old horny kid simulated having sex on/with the sidewalk?

Of course, the knucklehead had drank a half bottle of vodka before giving it a try.

Before that, passing motorists saw him lying on his back choking the chicken, after which he rolled over and continued on.

A neighbor intervened and took the boy home, who now finds his name on the sex offenders register.

And if he succeeded with the sidewalk and they reproduced, what would he tell the baby sidewalk. “Be sure to stay out from under weird kids passing by with body parts hanging out.”